How to Tell If You're in an Abusive Relationship

Domestic abuse is only one type of abusive relationship that has become a serious recurring problem in our society. Domestic abuse can take many forms, from physical abuse to mental abuse, to dependence and finally seclusion from friends and family. Once a dependency is made, it can be quite difficult for the victim to escape believing that they are at fault for some reason and even begin to defend the abuser.

Any physical contact for any reason should be considered as abuse. Once this gesture is accepted and there are no repercussions, it is bound to be a recurring event - escalating at times to severe abuse and even murder. The fact is, that most women that are killed, are killed by a husband or boyfriend. Any kind of striking - slapping, pushing, kicking or anything should be evaluated seriously. Notice if there is a pattern to the abuse, or any triggers. You can try to talk about this with your loved one, but care should be taken if bringing up the topic only angers them. Anyone who get angered easily over discussing a topic should be closely evaluated before assuming any kind of relationship.

There are the abusers who hide their true selves, slowly allowing it to be revealed to their mate over periods of time. This makes the victim somewhat immune to the actions taken against them. The abuser could come home from work one day and out of anger push the spouse into a wall or to the ground, then pick them up, apologizing for their actions. This cycle of domestic abuse only gets worse if it is allowed to take place at all. Most of the times, the victim of domestic abuse can be heard defending the abuser because they become so used to the routine.

Enduring mental abuse can be far worse than enduring physical abuse. You can become severely depressed after being told that you or your thoughts and ideas are worthless, stupid or worse. Threats are another type of mental abuse. You should not be afraid or intimidated by someone who is supposed to love you. This can first begin as a comment made jokingly, but this is just testing the waters. There are those out there who love nothing more than to see someone cry and will often make cruel comments to others - this, sometimes, can make these people easier to distinguish.

Blame. Mental abusers believe that they are doing nothing wrong and that the abused is "making them" commit the acts of violence or makes the abuser threaten the victim, but the reality is that they cannot control themselves or their temper and instead let anger take over. Psychological help is needed for these people but, sadly, is often refused. Once everyone else is gone and there is no one to blame but themselves, the abuser is left only with their guilt.