How to Tell If Someone is Interested by Understanding Body Language

Across the country, some will use the occasion of the Company Christmas Party to get better acquainted with a co-worker that they have admired from afar. After all, what better place to find out if the person your interested in is interested in you than at a social gathering, without being too forward? Here are some tips to find out if the person that you may want to get to know better, wants to get to know you better.

I am sure you have heard the old saying " Actions speak louder then words". This is true in all aspects of our lives. Very often, relationships begin with non-verbal communication. Because it is still not socially acceptable for a woman to walk up to a man and tell him that he is the object of her desires, women have long become " masters of body language" to get the message across. I would like to take a moment to explain how women use body language to send subtle messages to men they find attractive.

Imagine for a moment being at your company's Christmas Party, the woman that you have an interest in getting to know arrives alone and begins to mingle with other co-workers. While engaged in conversation with those she is most familiar with, she notices a man across the room that she finds attractive, the body language dance then begins. The first type of body language she will use to get his attention and let him know that she is interested in getting to know him better will be eye contact, brief in nature followed with a subtle smile. As time progresses, she will again attempt to use additional body language by trying to make eye contact, by glancing over as she engages in conversation with others, holding the eye contact just a little longer, and accompanying it with a warm inviting smile. If these attempts to coax the gentleman over fail, another form of body language that she may use is to begin to fix or play with her hair, jewelry or clothing ( an act of preening) to get his attention. Generally, by this time, he will get the message and make his way over to her if he is interested. When engaging in conversation with her interest, the woman's body language continues as the woman will tend to stand a little closer, facing him, turning only her head when conversing with someone else. She will lean inward to hear what he has to say, and she will often toss her head back when she laughs, to not only move her hair from her face but to expose her neck. When she is feeling more comfortable as they speak, she will become more animated using her hands, and very often will make physical contact by touching his arm, or she may use the pretense of "brushing "something off of his shoulder.

Once the couple has established that they would like to get to know each other better, they will use and can interpret how this encounter is going by watching each other's body language. Very often, while sitting the woman again will face the man of her interests, while crossing her legs, and placing one of her hands on her thigh to draw attention. She often maintain longer eye contact, and may even unconsciously turn it into an " intimate gaze" by directing her eyes from the man's eyes to his mouth, chin, down to the rest of his body and again make direct eye contact. When a woman is interested, she will offer a warm genuine smile during the conversation, slightly tilting her head to one side or other to give a sensual appearance. Very often women express their interest by keeping their hands open, which indicates that she is interested in what her new companion has to say.

If after making initial contact, the woman find that she is not interested in the man, she will use her body language to let him know without saying a word. Characteristically, she will lean back or away from him, sometime putting her hand on her head as though in deep contemplation. Other ways a woman can express her disinterest is by crossing her arms in front of her body, clenching her hands and offering only fake smiles.

Men on the other hand, have not really progressed when it comes to using body language, and aren't as complicated as women are, but here are some tips on what to look for when trying to figure out if he is interested.

At the time of initial eye contact, if he is interested, his eyebrows will appear to be more relaxed and his lips will naturally part.

Men will attempt to give the appearance of being larger than they actually are by standing erect and putting their hands on their hips, with the elbows pointing outwards to appear to take up more space giving the impression that they are more assertive and domineering.

Some men will adjust, or fiddle with their ties, while others will sit with their legs wide open either on a stool or chair. Men often will exhibit forms of preening by rubbing his nose or brushing his hand through his hair to keep the woman interested in him. . While the woman talks to him, he will have a slightly surprised expression, with his eyebrows slightly raised. While listening to you, he will tend to tilt his head to the side if interested. If he finds what is being said offensive, he will be more likely to look more steadily at the speaker, while a woman will tend to look away. If he is interested he will tend to hold a gaze longer than normal and will engage in an intimate gaze in which his eyes travel from the woman's eyes, down to the nose, the mouth, chin and the rest of the woman's body and then back to the eyes.

Very often when a man is interested in a woman, his arm movements tend to move more quickly, keeping their fingers together, he may stroke his cheek with the back of his fingers as a form of preening.

If he is not interested, he need not say a word, if he turns away from the woman, he is sending a message for her to " go away". The same can be said if he stares blankly at you with no smile, and tightly held lips. If you find that he has his arms crossed, and their legs underneath his chair, he is basically sending a message that he will need some convincing that you are the one for him.