How to Tell Your Kids that Santa is Not Real

Santa Clause may be based on a historical figure, but he's long gone. Grown-ups know who really puts all those gifts under the tree: parents. Learning the truth about Santa Clause is a milestone towards adulthood. As we accept this we move out of the world where fantasy and reality intermingle and into the one where they are separate. Uncovering the truth about Santa Clause can be a big wake-up call. It can be a difficult transition, but there are ways you can make it easier.

I don't remember when I found out that Santa was not real. My brother and I just gradually realized it on our own over time. We didn't feel hurt or betrayed at all. In fact, we continued pretending to believe for several years. We wanted those extra Santa Clause presents under the tree every Christmas! But was Santa ever really a lie?

I think not. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer may be a fairytale, and Santa may not real live on the North Pole. But he lives. Santa Clause is the jolly bearded man at the mall who lends an ear to the desires of children's hearts as they sit in his lap. He is the red-suited woman ringing the bell by a donation bucket. He is the relative in disguise, bearing gifts to the Christmas party. On Christmas Eve, he is the parents who sneak downstairs long after the kids have gone to sleep to deposit treasures under the tree. He is the joy and wonder children feel as they discover the half-empty glass of milk, the nibbled carrots, and the remaining cookie crumbs.

Santa Clause is the spirit of kindness and giving. He loves us all, no matter who we are; rich or poor, we are equal in his eyes. As we accept what Santa Clause really is, we become him. We each in turn become Santa Clause for the next generation. Let your children know that, now that they know the truth about Santa Clause, they are Santa Clauses. It is time for them to leave behind the role of the eager child, anxious to receive gifts-and adopt the role of the giver, who relishes in the delight on the faces of those receiving presents.

In doing this, you can make letting go of this childhood "fantasy" much easier on your child. They will be less apt to feel deceived if you explain why we all pretend that Santa Clause is an actual person as well as what he represents. It is mostly for fun and the enjoyment of little ones, but that's not all it is. There's so much more to it; discuss that with your child. Most importantly, be sure to stress to your child that now they know the truth it is important that they don't spill the beans to those who still believe! They must protect the secret of Santa and carry on his work as they enter adulthood.