How to Tell Your Significant Other Your Debt Situation

I will never forget that blue plastic shoe box that resided in the corner of my closet. A sad reminder of my past, it held many collection notices I had been unable to pay. A few weeks after my then fiance moved in, he found it. At first he seemed pretty upset, but after I explained to him how I had gotten in so much debt he seemed to come around.

I was at a point in my life where I was making more money than I had ever thought possible; I was living way beyond my means. I was trying to keep up with the Joneses. During my quest to have the newest and latest items, I had racked up more credit card debt than I knew what to do with. It was time to do something about it.

We sat down with a tablet of paper and a pen. I wrote down who I owed and what amount. When it was all said and done, we had a total. That wasn't the most beautiful number I had ever seen, but it also wasn't the ugliest. The plan was to attack the smallest amount first and work our way up to the largest. I would put any extra money aside to go toward paying off my debt. It would be my mission to have this all paid off by the time we got married.

Month after month, I started chipping away at my debt. I finally started to get ahead. Life was different without that latte in the morning and no more shopping sprees. At the same time, it felt good to get out of the vicious cycle of minimum payments. I was making leeway towards the last payment. Seventeen months later and I was completely credit card debt free. What a great feeling!

My advice to anyone who needs to tell their fiance or spouse they are in debt: sit down, talk about it, write it out, and devise a plan to attack the debt. It's much easier in black and white. Come up with a budget, show what money is going to go where, and make sure you are making more than the minimum payments. Call your creditors and ask them if they can lower the interest rates on you cards. See if they will give you a break if you make a few monthly payments. All in all, I think it is very important to be honest, upfront, and be willing to talk about it calmly. Honesty is the best policy.

And for my shoe box, I've kept it for a memento of my past; a reminder of what could happen again if I'm not careful. For now, though, it contains my very stylish red pumps. I paid cash.