How To Tell Someone They Need To Practice Better Hygiene

When a person does not take care of his/her body it shows and smells. It is very hard to be around someone who stinks. However, no one wants to be mean or cruel so a lot of times people do not speak up, even nicely, to let that person know how offensive they are actually being. Poor hygiene is a factor that everyone dislikes, but it takes sensitivity and perseverance to help an offender.

I had a friend in high school who smelled terrible. It did not matter what day, or occasion it was, she always had body odor and bad breath. I tried to offer her Tic-Tacs; she declined. I asked her to try my new perfume; she refused. I had to do something because I could not stand the smell any longer. So I came up with a way of letting her know that she did not smell good.

My first step was to somehow nonchalantly hint that she had poor hygienic qualities. So I decided to buy her a gift basket. The gift basket contained anything a stinky person could ever want: toothpaste, a toothbrush, perfume, body wash, shampoo, Tic Tacs, and Winterfresh gum. However, I did not want her to feel bad so I told her that I was giving gift baskets to all of my best friends. As nice as the gift basket may sound, her smell stayed the same. She must have re-gifted my gift because she still smelled horrible.

I had already been very nice and gentle, so now it was time to hint a little less nonchalantly. I chose to make obvious comments anytime she came around to try to let her know she stank. Sometimes when she would come to the lunch table, I started acting like I was smelling something, and I would look directly at her and say that something reeks bad. I would ask her if she smelled it. Most of the time she would say, "No, I don't smell anything." However, one time she smelled herself and said, "It's not me." I was laughing so hard on the inside, but I did not want to let it show.

Finally I decided to invite her over to my home for a makeover. I showed her all of my perfume, my new makeup, and many sundries that I thought she would like. I let her pick which ones she wanted to use. I tried to encourage many perfumes on her, telling her how great they smelled all mixed together. After the new makeup, hairstyle and cleaner skin, her hygiene was completely changed for that day. After the makeover we went out to celebrate her new look. At the restaurant she received many compliments from the workers about how nice she looked that day; however, beforehand I did have to bribe a few people with some five-dollar bills. The compliments were wonderful and made her happy to hear them. We enjoyed our meal, and then it happened. As soon as we were done eating she started to take her new makeup off, and her pretty hair down, while we were still at the table. I knew the smell would not be far behind. I had hoped she would have kicked up her hygiene after that, but she did not.

By that time I had had enough. I decided to confront her nicely yet directly about her continuing hygiene problems. As I was walking beside her in the hall one day I told her that she did not smell good. I also told her that when she does not take care of herself it is easy to detect. I told her that if she does not care about her hygiene, she must not care for herself. Something really had to change. She said that she did not know that people saw it that way, and she would try starting the next day to take care of herself the right way.

The next day came about and there was still no change. That was the last straw. Maybe she was not an easy learner; maybe she needed to have her cage rattled in order to get her to do something. That is what I decided to do: I would rattle her cage. I walked up beside her in the hall and the first words out of my mouth were "You stink. You need to use deodorant and brush your teeth. It is not right for someone to be that offensive and uncaring of others that they let themselves go like you do." The only thing that she could say was "Can I have a Tic-Tac?" When I gave her the Tic-Tac I also sprayed her with perfume. Surprisingly she said, "Thanks."

There are a lot of different ways to let someone know that he/she needs to work on something that is offensive to you; however, a lot of times people tend to ridicule rather than taking certain steps that could prevent a conflict. In my case, only after I directly confronted her did she start to keep up with her hygiene. She was not offended by my actions and continues to be one of my best friends to this day. However, if I would have confronted her first I would not have such a great friend today, because even though your intentions are good people can still have hurt feelings. Everyone cares about themselves; sometimes it just takes a little motivation to show them that they do. It might take courage, but speaking up will be beneficial to both parties.