How to Tell the Truth When it is Bad or Painful News

Sometimes, people don't tell the truth when they have something unpleasant to share with someone they love. However, honesty is mostly the best policy. The most important thing to remember is that you have been living with your lie and have become some what comfortable with it. The person you have decided to be honest with has not. Here are a few suggestions on how to tell the painful truth in a gentle, kind, and considerate way.

Don't Put it Off

When you have something unpleasant to share don't wait. It is always better to tell sooner rather than later. Time will not take the sting out of the news you have to share. It will only cause the person you love to question everything you have done and said since the bad news happened. Be responsible and start talking.

Schedule a Time to Talk

You want the person's full attention. Tell the person there is something you want to talk about and ask when a good time would be. They may insist you tell them right then and there. It is up to you to judge whether the time is appropriate or not. If not, let them know that now is not a good time, and schedule a more appropriate time. It is better to be prepared with what you want to say than to blurt it out in a harsh way.

Privacy

Unless you fear for your safety, a private place is a must. You want to give the person you love some privacy to scream, cry, or throw things (just kidding). If you feel the situation could get violent then go to a park or another open public place. Also, take someone else with you who can be at your side in an instant if the situation gets out of hand.

Rehearse

Think about what you want to say. Don't go to the person you love to share something painful and sit there stammering. If you respect and love them you will think about what you want to say to them ahead of time. Be mindful of their feelings and use words that are not confrontational or accusing. Don't put the other person in a defensive state because then they will not be listening to you.

Don't Debate

You are sharing a truth that is painful for the other person to hear. Don't try to defend or explain yourself. Let the person hearing bad or painful news steer the conversation. They may want to talk or they may walk out. Accept their reaction and keep quiet.

Space

Give the person some space. You just gave them unpleasant news. They don't need your hugs. They need space and air. If they walk out on you, let them go. Give them time and space to deal with the issues you have disclosed.

Don't Discuss

Don't expect the person to discuss the issue with you. Too many emotions are in play. Again, let the person steer the conversation.

Disclose it All

Disclosing bad news in a small chunks is not a good idea. Get it all out in the open. The one question that will always come up is, anything else you haven't told me? You should be able to say, no.

It takes courage to share bad or painful news with someone you love. Hopefully, the above advice will allow you to tell the truth in a manner which is considerate, kind, and compassionate.