How to Tell When Your Weatherman is Lying to You

Everybody knows the weatherman lies. He tells you it is going to rain, it will be sunny. He tells you it is going to be sunny, there will be a blizzard. He tells you there will be a blizzard, you will find yourself in the center of a tornado.

Nobody likes to be lied to about the weather, especially when you're making plans. I mean how are you supposed to plan a trip on the weekend when the weatherman tells you it is going to be 75 degrees and bright and sunny out and it turns out that it is really 33 degrees outside that weekend with an inch and a half of snow?

Here is a helpful little guide to give you some hints on how to tell when your weatherman is lying to you.

1. His mouth is open.
   
2. It is freezing cold outside but the weatherman assures you that the temperatures are going to warm up and be beautiful by the weekend.
   
3. It has been raining for days but the weatherman assures you that the weather is going to clear up and be beautiful by the weekend.
   
4. When he is telling you how nice it is going to be in a couple of days he gets that little smirk on his face that you just know means "Ha ha, sucker, none of the words coming out of my mouth right now are anything even slightly resembling truth."
   
5. The weatherman says that there is going to be a high of 72 that day when you can look out the window and it is only 41.
   
6. He starts trying to explain things using advanced meteorological terms that even he doesn't understand to try to explain why the weather is doing what is doing.
   
7. As soon as the weather report is done he turns it back over to the anchors as fast as he can before he bursts out laughing uncontrollably.

Really a good rule of thumb is, anytime the weatherman tells you you are going to have good weather, he is most likely lying. Unless maybe you live in someplace like Hawaii, when all they have to do for the weather report every day is "Its another beautiful day here in Hawaii. Now back to you, Carol." But most of us don't live in Hawaii.

The best way to find out the weather is just to go outside and feel it for yourself. You don't need no fancypants college degree to figure out if it is raining or not or if it is cold or not. And if it feels like it is going to warm up, it will probably warm up. If it feels like it is only going to get colder, most chances are it is only going to get colder despite what the weatherman says. When it comes to the weather, you be the judge, and let the weatherman play in front of his green screen all that he wants.