How to Make Thanksgiving Turkey Leftover Soup and Curse Your Mother-In-Law

After all, didn't your new mother-in-law, the ungrateful domineering witch who you so desperately wanted to impress with your culinary skills, make sure there would be Thanksgiving leftovers by eating before she came to your house? Didn't she sniff each fork full and make a face before tasting anything? Didn't she shake her head silently while others tried to enjoy their meals?

That means you're perfectly set up to make Thanksgiving Turkey Leftover Soup. And the bonus, here, is that this soup, made from Thanksgiving leftovers, can feed you for a long time - particularly if you freeze it afterwards.

Well, that...and it's ridiculously easy to make and your mother-in-law has gone back to the rock she crawled from under. Here's what you do:

Boil. Clean most the meat off the carcass and break it down enough so that it easily fits into your largest pot. Whether you forgot to retrieve the giblets from your Thanksgiving turkey before you cooked it or not isn't important. I won't tell anyone - particularly not your mother-in-law. Now throw the giblets in with the bird bones. And, while I recommend throwing them in from three-point range, you can feel free to do it from the free-throw line. Now pour enough water into the pot to cover its contents, plus a few inches.

Invert a heavy dinner plate and place it over the carcass and giblets; otherwise they'll float. The mob uses cement boots to prevent bodies from floating, but I've found cement doesn't have the neutral flavor that's so often desired.

Get the water boiling vigorously, then reduce the heat to a slow boil. Then walk away. Ignore it. Shun it until it's learned you deserve to be treated with respect. Insult MY gravy?!? Wait - that was the mother-in-law. Well, the leftover Thanksgiving turkey carcass will have to be her stand in. Forget about the silent treatment. Shout all the vile things to the turkey that you want to say to your mother-in-law but won't because you know your new spouse will side with her.

When the water level reduces to midway down the inverted plate, add more water and repeat. Yes, repeat your tirade, too. Come into MY home and insult MY green bean casserole?!?

Strain. When the water level reduces the the top of the plate, turn off the heat and take the plate out. I recommend using tongs, but you can use your bare hands. Good luck. Let me know how that works for you. Set a strainer over another large pot and pour the contents of the first pot through. The second pot should now have the essence of the leftover Thanksgiving turkey and the strainer should have the carcass and giblets of your mother-in-law. I mean your leftover Thanksgiving turkey. Yeah. Your turkey. Yeah.

Now take a slotted spoon and slowly sift through the liquid to ensure no bone fragments were left behind. You don't want to forget any bones. Unlike the mother-in-law, who took it upon herself to give the Thanksgiving Dinner Blessing in MY house, and, while saying what she was thankful for, conveniently gave thanks for everybody BUT me! No, no. Take the high road. Remember to remove all of the bones.

Add stuff. Place the pot with the newly strained leftover Thanksgiving turkey broth back on the stove, set to medium-high. Dice up some raw carrots and celery that's leftover from Thanksgiving dinner. And while you're at it, dice up an onion, too. Yes, you'll cry while dicing the onion, but it'll hide your tears of anguish and resentment. Why did she have to be so cruel?!? I was just trying to make a nice dinner for everyone! Silently vow to never let her in your house ever again.

Make a pouch from doubled-over cheesecloth and put the diced veggies in it. Secure the top of your cheesecloth pouch by tying a knot in it, then place it in the broth and let it boil, covered, for about an hour.
Now turn back to the leftover Thanksgiving carcass and continue using it as an effigy of your horrid mother-in-law. Insult her weight. Mention her never being there for her son and that, because of her, he thought all women were cold and distant until he met you. Call her a heartless drunk who proves, with every breath she takes, that only the good die young.

Retrieve. After an hour of boiling and insulting the leftover Thanksgiving turkey carcass, remove the pouched veggies. They have nothing left to give and neither do you. Hey - you gave it your best shot. It's not your fault she's so vile.

Add body. Just like you know your evil mother-in-law will come back at some point, you also know that you'll need to add more stuff to the soup. Good news, though: you don't need cheesecloth this time. Cut large chunks of turkey and toss them in. Thickly chop some more leftover raw veggies (and some cooked ones, if you like).

Then decide if you want to add rice or noodles. Don't worry - your controlling mother-in-law isn't around to make the decision for you. Soon, the noodles or rice will be soft, warm and inviting, but your mother-in-law will still be hard, cold and conniving.

Eat and store. At this point, your leftover Thanksgiving turkey soup is ready to eat. Chances are, you've made a lot more than you can eat. That's fine. You can store the rest in individual serving sized containers. Then you can freeze it either in your freezer or on your mother-in-law's heart. Or on you mother-in-law's heart in the freezer.