How to Throw a Non-Baby Shower Luncheon

For some women, the idea of a frilly, baby pink or baby blue baby shower with tiny finger sandwiches and baby shower games is enough to make them wish they'd never become pregnant in the first place. So what do you do when that woman is your friend and you want to celebrate the upcoming arrival of her name baby boy or girl, but she doesn't want a baby shower?

Well, believe it or not, there are several options. You should respect your pregnant friend's wishes, but ask her if she wouldn't mind a small, non-baby shower-esque gathering with just a few close friends. Chances are, she'll have no objections to that. After you get her okay, here are some other things you can do to host the perfect "non-baby shower" luncheon.

Make a reservation, but nix the decorations

You can always tell a baby shower by its decorations, so avoid the urge to buy any kind of baby shower decorations at all. This means no balloons, streamers, signs or anything in a soft pastel color. Instead make a reservation at your friend's favorite restaurant. If you're hosting this "non-baby shower" luncheon at work, find a nearby café or deli that will allow you to reserve a table or two. Go in ahead of time and explain the situation to the manager and chances are even if that establishment doesn't usually allow reservations, they'll make an exception for a pregnant woman. Put some thought into planning the location of the "non-baby shower" luncheon, because it should be special to your friend.

Keep the guest list small

A "non-baby shower" luncheon is not the time to send out a mass email to everyone in your contacts list. Instead, ask your friend for the names of a few select family members and friends that she would like to have lunch with. Contact those family members and friends and tell them about the special luncheon that you're hosting for your friend. This will keep the "non-baby shower" luncheon from being awkward for your friend and will instead be a fun, relaxed lunch with a few close friends.

No gifts, please

If your friend doesn't want a baby shower, she is probably not going to want a bunch of baby shower gifts either. However, you don't want your mom-to-be to walk away from her special luncheon empty-handed. So what's the solution? Gift cards, of course! Ask each guest to bring a nice card and a gift card in whatever amount they choose for the guest of honor instead. These can be gift cards to baby specialty stores like A Children's Place, Toys R Us or even Target and Wal-Mart. You could even purchase a gift card to a store like Victoria's Secret or Bath and Body Works that your friend can use AFTER the birth of the baby.

A sweet ending

Instead of purchasing a fancy baby shower cake, order a special dessert from the restaurant you're hosting the luncheon at. If you're at a small café or deli, see if they have any pastries available and if not, ask if you can bring your own. The right dessert can be the perfect substitute for a baby shower cake.

And lastly, remember that this "non-baby shower" luncheon is all about the mom-to-be and not about your preconceived ideas of what a baby shower should be.