How to Tick Off Your Husband

1) Play fetch with the dog by throwing their favorite toy onto the bed on Saturday morning while hubby is still sleeping.

2) Move his dirty magazines to a new hiding place and pretend like you didn't even know he kept dirty magazines.

3) When a telemarketer calls, pretend to be very interested. Reply with "Oh really?" "Well, I didn't know that!" "Wow, that is so cool!" and at the moment of sale-"Oh no I don't think so." and hang up. Don't say a word about the call. When he asks who it was say "nobody important."

4) Hold a conversation with him through the door when he is in the bathroom.

5) Make scoffing noises a lot while he is watching his favorite sporting event.

6) Call a repairman/plumber/electrician. This is particularly effective after they have diagnosed the problem and declare it "a pretty simple thing to fix".

7) Patronize him when he is explaining something very complex to you.

8) Wake him up at 2 am to tell him about your day.

9) Describe your 'period' to him in great detail.

10) Wear your tightest jeans and most revealing blouse and spend an hour or so pretending to do housework. This will drive him mad with lust. When it's bedtime, tell him you're not in the mood and wonder aloud what got him so riled up in the first place. (Note: It is very important that you don't do anything sensual in this step and don't act like you are teasing. Be as innocent as possible.)