How To Tip Over a Sacred Cow

My first experiences with organized religion were visiting a multitude of denominations; while my Father was away at sea and my mother had no car. We would walk to the church nearest to our house. It did not matter what religion they taught.

If I seem a little confused about religion, maybe its because I've attended Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal and Presbyterian services. Military families move around a lot! Then I was sent to Catholic school for a year. Talk about confusion!

When my father finally left the Navy and we moved to the "Bible Belt" in Oklahoma, I made a new friend who lived 3 doors down. Her father was a Baptist Minister. I would spend Saturday nights at her house, then go to church the next morning. My favorite event was Baptist Summer bible camp.

Summer bible camp lasted a week, but the memory of my first kiss as a teenager, has lasted a lifetime. The camp lodge was in a beautiful natural setting. There were games & activities, arts/crafts, waterfalls and BOYS!! It was here I would lock braces with Kenneth, and my best friend would fall in love with his younger brother Kenny. We always laughed about their names being practically the same. Summer love at its finest and plenty to repent about during the daily worship services.

We had bible classes during the day and I had just learned about the doctrine of the rapture. The trumpet blows and the dead in their graves fly up into the air to meet Jesus, then his saints follow behind them. If you were left behind, you had endure the horrors of the beast, anti-christ and Armageddon. Oh my!

When it came time for the church service, they were really driving the point that you didn't want to be left behind. It was like a used car salesman...'got sins NO problem we can get you fixed up right here and now if you just pray this little prayer of salvation'. "No credit, no worries"!

I decided to get my fire insurance and marched up to the front of the altar where people were ready to pray the "sinner's prayer" with me. I didn't want to be left behind to go through the horrors they spoke of in the book of Revelations! All of a sudden there was a huge rumbling noise behind me, and I thought for sure it was the rapture's trumpet sound. I turn around to look and it was just the usher's moving the row of seats back so they could make room for more sinners like me.

They taught me that God was a God of love. Unless you were not baptized in water before you died, then he'd fry your ass in hell for all eternity. Immediately when I heard the doctrine of baptism, it did not feel right to me. But when they pointed out the scriptural references in a book "they said" was written by God, how could I argue with that? But ritual has never been my thing, and I've always wanted the inward realization over the outward act.

So as I grew, I began to question many of the religious rituals and doctrines. Because being dunked in a tub of water, didn't make me feel clean inside for very long. Eating a cracker and drinking grape juice didn't make me commune with the Spriit of Christ. I was at the altar constantly confessing my sins, because I was told that my natural bodily urges were sinful.

Religious rituals of kneeling, bowing the head and praying before eating all seemed so phony to me. But if you wanted to be accepted in the group, you had to do what the group did. Original thought and unique expression were not allowed! It was like a herd mentality. Don't you dare tip over their sacred cows unless you want fire and brimstone rained on your head from their loving God. The message was always one of fear.

Organized religion was a big part of my life for many years, but today I find that the metaphor's of the bible make the bible apply to me in this moment inwardly, not some future date or events of the past. I learned God is not a control freak who puts conditions on people to serve him or burn in Hell. I don't take any of it literally anymore. I don't look at myself as a sinner anymore and I don't follow God out of a fear of going to Hell. I've come to realize that Hell is not a literal place but the state of feeling disconnected from God now. It is ok to question what does not feel right to you and you don't have to sit in a pew listening to one person regurgitate the bible to you every week. You can find the same metaphoric message that is in the bible in nature, and in all spiritual writings.
It is not the bible that is flawed, it is the mind that interprets it literally.