How Can I Train Myself to Think Better?

More and more we are coming to understand the power our thoughts have in our lives. Unfortunately for many of us, up to this point, that power has been a negative if not destructive influence. What's happening now is, people are getting fed up with this outcome and are starting to take responsibility for their thoughts, and therefore, take back their power.

How do you take back your power? How do you get control of your thoughts? How can you train yourself to think better? The following four suggestions will show you how.

Suggestion One

Do not try to eliminate negative thoughts by pretending they are not there. Developing healthier thought processes isn't about repressing unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Rather, you should notice them and express them as soon as possible. Otherwise they get buried beneath other things that come up during the day, only to emerge later with far more damaging results.

A very effective way to express our negative feelings safely is to write them out on a piece of paper. Just let the words spill out exactly as they feel to you. Say whatever you need to say, whatever you want to say. Keep writing until you feel like there is nothing more you can write, as if the feeling has been completely expelled from you (for more information about expressing emotions on paper, see the link on the left, Venting on Paper, listed under resources).

If you do not have a paper and pen handy, or aren't near a computer, just say whatever you would write down, in your mind. Let loose. Get as angry as you want to be. No one is going to hear this, so don't worry about being conservative.

By expressing any negative emotions or thoughts immediately, you get them out of your system. If you hold them inside, you'll carry them around with you for too long, and they'll eat away at you.

Suggestion Two

Suggestion one works great with some thoughts and feelings, but not all. Which ones does it work well with? It is effective when dealing with certain situations that arise. For instance if someone says or does something hurtful to you, naturally you are going to feel upset or offended by this. This is a situation where you need to allow yourself to express your feelings.

On the other hand, there are times when we get carried away with repetitive negative thoughts. For instance, you may obsess and stress over all the expenses you have, what someone did to you a month ago, something that might happen, or maybe you relentlessly criticize yourself. In these cases, letting yourself continually express these thoughts is not in your best interest. It's clear that giving them attention does not get them out, they just keep repeating themselves over and over in your head.

Suggestion two applies to these sorts of thoughts. You need to starve them. Do not give them attention. Attention feeds them and makes them stronger. How can you starve these destructive thoughts?

Come up with an alert system that will let you know when you are thinking these kinds of thoughts. Rhonda Burn presented this idea in her book of the DVD The Secret. The idea is to choose certain things that will cause you to take notice of what you are thinking about. For example, whenever you hear a siren go off, a car alarm, or a telephone rings, stop and observe what you have been thinking about. If you've been absorbed in negative or worrisome thoughts, now is your chance to interrupt them, stop them, and change your focus to something else.

Suggestion Three

Begin your day with a few minutes of silence. Lay in bed an extra two or three minutes, keep your eyes closed, and pay attention to what thoughts begin entering your mind. If a thought arises that says, "I have to call so and so at this time" don't follow it and start thinking about it and the other things you have to do. Instead, just say to yourself, "that thought reminded me to make a phone call" then continue laying there with your eyes shut, observing any other thoughts that come in. each time, acknowledge the thought, say to yourself what it is about, then let it go.

Usually we just wake up and without giving it a second thought, we start grabbing onto every thought that enters our minds and they drag us around throughout the day. By allowing yourself just two minutes to observe the thoughts consciously, you can avoid letting their tide pull you in. You now have a control point.

Suggestion Four

It's time to begin filling your mind with the kind of thoughts you want to be thinking about. You can do this in a number of ways. An easy way to start is by repeating an affirmation to yourself all day long. Make the affirmation about something good that you want to focus on. State the affirmation in the present tense (For more information about affirmations, see the link on the left, 7 Tips to Make Your Affirmations More Effective, listen under resources).

There will be times when you can not say affirmations to yourself or you may simply find it hard to stay focused on them. If this is the case, try recording yourself saying the affirmation repeatedly. You can do this with a tape recorder, digital voice recorder, or on your computer if you have a mic and a recording program. This way you can listen to the affirmation throughout the day, and it will be absorbed into your subconscious.

Listen to audio programs that focus on positive subjects. You can purchase coaching programs that you can listen to, or guided meditation and affirmation CD's. Listen to these whenever possible. It's important to start filling your mind with better thoughts and healthier information. This way there will be little room for the negative and destructive thoughts.

Make it a point too, as you go about your day to purposely look for good things. Ask yourself, "What is good about today?" Think of anything and everything you can. Do this every day. You'll make it a habit and before you know it, you'll automatically be looking for the good more often than the bad.

Training ourselves to think better is possible, but it requires you to make a commitment. New habits aren't formed immediately; they take time. These suggestions will point you in the right direction, so use them as a starting point. Try doing these things consistently, every day, for 21 days. Having a goal to meet is a great way to motivate yourself. Give it a try, and three weeks from now, see how you feel.