How to Train Your Parents

I am a stereotypical second generation Asian American male. My parents moved to America in their teens and have very conservative and traditional Asian believes on raising a child. It took a few years and lots of self improvement, but I went from having a "never" curfew to no curfew at all. Here are some tips to help you train your parents to trust you enough to let you do what you want, and yes, I use the word train because your parents are not just going to one day decide that it is perfectly okay for you to go out and have sex with every moving thing.

Be Responsible: For your parents to trust you, you need to be a trustworthy person. If you're looking for a quick fix on how to get out to your underage friend's Beer Pong tournament tonight, I suggest sneaking out because you're not going to have that level of trust from your parents out of nowhere.

You can start by getting good grades. Not only will having a high GPA be beneficial to your future, but it will also help your parents trust you more. If it doesn't, you can always give them the "But I got a 95% on my test yesterday!"

Stick to your words, if you say that you're going to do something, DO IT. If you say that you'll be back in time for dinner, do it! Or at the very least call and tell them that you may be a little late. Parents are paranoid.

Help out around the house; it will make them feel obligated to letting you out. If they still don't, sit on the couch and look extremely bored. If that STILL doesn't work, sneak out (just kidding).

Test your boundaries... then take a step over: If you're a guy, your father thinks that you need to live up to his great name and accomplish everything that he couldn't and your mother thinks you will get every girl pregnant. If you're a girl, your father thinks that every guy wants to get you pregnant and your mother is too busy formulating how to make you as beautiful as her. In other words, they have a preconceived notion of what to expect for you that hasn't changed since you were eleven years old. Therefore, you need to slowly break down what they think of you and let them realize that you are no longer a prepubescent acne stained child.

Push your curfew slowly, if it is 9PM, push for 9:30PM. Make an excuse and make sure you make it back by the time that you stated. Eventually they will trust your sense of time and that is when you should push even harder. Tell them you'll be back by 1:00AM but call them at 12:45 and tell them you'll be a bit late because you are stuck in traffic (yes there is traffic at 12:45AM).

Once you have established a certain level of trust, you can stop asking for their permission for everything. This one will be a difficult one to accomplish, but it is your final goal. Like the curfew, you need to start slowly. Let them know what you're doing in advance. "Mom, I'm going to Jeff's place at 8 tonight, I'll be back by 10". As trust increases, step over your boundaries some more and be bold. Walk out of your room already dressed and tell your mother "I'm going to Jeff's place, be back at 10". Push it even further, open the front door, THEN, yell out to the living room "MOM, I'M GOING TO Jeff's, BE BACK LATER". Eventually, you'll get to the point where you can just come and go as you please, though I do still like to let my parents know where I'm going out of courtesy, "Going to 7-11 to pick up something, then heading to my girlfriend's house, be back tomorrow morning".

Last piece of advice: train them slowly, you do not want them to freak out and ground you for life.