How to Train Your Toddler to Walk Near You: Keep Them Close and Safe

Toddlers learn how to walk long before they learn to listen. It can be frustrating for parents to shop with a toddler. They do not want to ride in the cart or stroller or be carried because they can walk. But they have not yet learned to walk beside their parent or to listen. There are some ways to train your toddler to walk beside you at the store and other places, though. It just takes some time and effort, which is what parenting is all about.

First of all, do not try to train them to walk near you at places where temptation abounds. This includes duck ponds, dog parks, playgrounds, toy stores and candy shops. They may understand that they are supposed to walk by you, but they will not develop that degree of self-control for a while. Your child will not always be able to control every impulse and will need gentle reminding of how to behave, so do not expect him or her to always stay in line.

Go for a Walk

Your very own neighborhood is the best place to begin. There is not a lot of traffic, and the dangers aren't as plentiful. The sidewalk gives children a clear visual of how close to stay to you when walking. Start by going for a walk holding their hand. Eventually, let go, giving them a chance to walk near you. When they get more than about three feet away, take their hand again and continue guiding them. Let them know that if they get too far away, they have to go back to holding your hand. If you walk by a playground or even a dog, they may be tempted to run off. When you're approaching, hold their hand firmly, and have them stand beside you until you give them the OK to go on their own. Try to keep them walking at the same pace as you, and make sure you are not moving too fast for them to keep up (or too slow for their patience).

Don't Go Shopping

Go to the store without a shopping list, and walk holding your child's hand. If they try to break free, let them. But when they get more than three feet away, take their hand again. They may cause a scene by struggling and screaming, but that's OK. You're not there to buy anything, so you have lots of time and won't have any shopping plans foiled. Take them around the store, looking at things of interest to both of you. Stay clear of the toy section and candy aisle until your child is doing well staying near you in more boring places. Let them touch things, but show them to be gentle and not make a mess.

Time to Shop

When they are doing well staying near you on the sidewalk and the store, it is time to start trying to shop. Start by going to the store with a very short shopping list of things that will fit in a handheld shopping basket. Hold your toddler's hand with your free one when you must. When you've mastered this, you're ready to graduate to grocery shopping with a cart. Let them walk near the buggy, but if they get more than a few feet away, have them help you push the cart. (If they are putting things in the cart, put them back when they are not looking.)

To Leash or Not to Leash

People have mixed opinions about child harnesses and "leashes." Some say it is degrading to children because it treats them like dogs. We leash our dogs to keep them safe because we love and care about them, though. It is not appropriate to drag a child around by a leash or use it in place of supervision and direction, but there's nothing wrong with tethering your child to you for safety. Some toddlers want to walk, not ride or be carried, but do not like to hold hands. The leash provides more leeway with walking room and prevents wriggling free. These are useful in crowded places or at times when the parent can't focus full attention on the child. They can help train a toddler to stay near, because the child can go only as far as the leash allows, which gives them a clear picture of how far away it is acceptable to stray.

Your toddler does not need to be holding your hand at all times, but he or she also doesn't need to be running several feet ahead of you - or lagging far behind. The farther away children are, the easier it is for them to slip out of sight. This could lead to them becoming lost briefly, which is a scary experience for everyone, or even abducted. Running in the store can lead to the child bumping into someone, such as a smaller child who could get hurt, or even a grumpy stranger. A briskly walking shopper paying too little attention could run into your child with a shopping cart accidentally if he or she bursts out of an aisle. Protect your children by training them to walk within a few feet of you and to stay in sight.