How to Transition Toddlers From Co-Sleeping to Beds of Their Own
Start by talking. Talk to your spouse about your child beginning to sleep on his or her own at times when the child will hear. Talk directly to your toddler about it as well, or even to his or her favorite teddy bear. Ask what they think about it with questions like, "Won't it be exciting for you to have a bed of your very own?"
Let them pick out their bed and bedding, as well as a few special pillows, and encourage them to help you set the bed up and put the bedding on. Show excitement about the new purchase. Isn't it a pretty bed? What a cool pillow! Aren't you excited about sleeping in your neat, new bed tonight?
Establish a routine well before you try the transition, and follow it the first night. In our house, we have a bath, brush our teeth, get into our pajamas and then get tucked in with a kiss goodnight. That's all it takes! You may choose to have some quiet cuddle time in front of the TV or to read a story. What's important here is a consistent routine and some last-minute togetherness before bed.
Make sure your child has everything they need. Cup of water? Check. Favorite teddy bear and blanket? Check, check. Dry diaper? Check. Are they hungry? Do they need a snack? Make sure they have enough blankets to be warm and the right lighting to fall asleep in.
Now, it's time, but don't leave! It's just their first night in this new bed in their own room. Not only are they used to sleeping in your room and in your bed, they are used to sleeping with you. Lay down with your child until he or she falls asleep, at least for the first few nights and preferably the first few weeks. When they are sleeping, slip out quietly, and return if they wake and need you again.
Eventually, they'll be ready to part with you at night. Be sure you check on them frequently until they fall asleep. If they ask that you lay down with them, do it, but only stay a few minutes.
Inevitably they will sometimes wake at night and want to come back into your bed. That is OK, especially in the beginning. It usually won't last forever, and there's little harm in letting them back in for a night. If it does become a habit, you'll eventually have to put your foot down - softly. When they insist on sleeping in your bed, take them back to their own bed and lay them down. Stay for a while, or even until they fall asleep, and then return to your own bed, as in the beginning.
This is how we transitioned my son to his own bed. After our bedtime routine, I would kiss him goodnight, and then my husband would lay with him until he fell asleep. At first, that took several hours each night, and he needed his father to come in once or twice again throughout the night. Gradually, he began falling asleep more quickly and needed his father less often at night wakings. Within three months, we could tuck him in and leave, and he would fall asleep on his own. He still joins us in our own bed sometimes, but that's fine with us!
Published by Heather B.
I'm young single mother of two boys, a liberal Democrat, and a born again Pagan witch for nearly 14 years. I write about natural family living, pregnancy, homebirth, attachment parenting, and religion or pol... View profile
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- Let them pick out their bed.
- Establish a routine.
- Stay with them at first.
10 Comments
Post a CommentI apologize for the errors, but typos are a fact of life for any writer. Once the article goes live, I cannot go back and correct anything.
You need to fix the errors in this article. The mistakes make it hard to read and the message is lost.
I am a single mom of a 19 moth year old and he was born with a mild case of spinal bifidia. He has sleep with me sence day 1 of able to finally come home from the hospital. We are ready for big boy bed but I am not quit sure how to adjust him into it. I will take all the advice possible. You can email me also at cabbagepatch1984@gmail.com. I would love to get some help on how to help adjust him into his own room andlet him grow up and become his own person. Hope to hear from you guys soon. Happy holidays. Wish you all the best in you situations.
If you happen to read this, my son too had to play with my hair before falling asleep. I ended up getting him a doll blanket with fringe on the ends. He now has got acustom to playing with that until he falls asleep. Granted he still likes to co-sleep, but it might be worth a try for you. You can get one on Etsy for around 6 dollars. Small investment to me :) Good Luck.
My son is 18 months old and he has co-slept his entire life because he had reflux to the point I had to sleep with him in a chair just for him to be comfortable and now we'd like for him to be in his own bed because he moves around too much, BUT right now we're in a TINY house and there's no other room for him to go to, so he'll still be in our room! I don't know how this is going to work.
IM TIRED! my son, 17 months, has got his own bed recently after co-sleeping for many many months. he has a habit of twiddling ym hair to settle him down. have struggled to break this habit.
my son now wakes at aobut 2 AM or so, and winges fpor hours until he is allowed to play with my hair to resettle.
not only do i have to break that habit, but encourage him to stay in his bigboy bed.
he is very mummy-boy'ish and attached to me greatly. so i suggest for anyone that is about to do this transition, has had alot of sleep, takes naps when the kid is sleeping, and find some strength! as the transition is easy ... compared with the complete tiredness you get when getting up and down each night in the first few weeks, so many nights of broken sleep. remember its different now because to resettle, you dont jsut have to move your arm, you have to get out of bed, walk to their room and then bam! your more awake that you thought you would be.
i fear i may have to take my son back to bed
Love your response Jenny. I am a single mom with 13 months old, he had been co-sleeping with me since he was 10 months old. I really need to get him back in his crib.
yeaaaaa this sounds all good but what about 18 month olds? what about the people like me that have no spouse here, because he's deployed in the desert? or single moms? this is hard stuff! ive been doing this 2 weeks and shes cried four hours at one point! any other suggestions?
With regard to picking out the bed, too, one thing that you could try (if you or your spouse is handy with tools) is building a bed. You could get a book of children's furniture and let your child pick out the bed he/she wants. My father happens to have a book that has several cool ideas for beds, including a canopy bed, a racecar bed, and a spaceship bed. Even if the child isn't old enough to actively participate in building the bed, he/she could also help with choosing paint colours and maybe adding stickers or other simple embellishments. My father made my first bed (just a standard one, not fancy) when I was three. I still sleep in it 20 years later!
More great advice. LOL at the swing pic. They always have such a hard time parting with those things. :-)