How to Travel with a German Partner

OK, this article may not suit the politically correct. But having had a German partner for 10 years, I think I'm somewhat of an expert on traveling with a German. It can be the best of vacations and it can be the worst. Mostly is will be OK, which is what you should aim for.

Here's a list of tips that can help you have an enjoyable vacation with a German partner (male or female) whether or not this is a permanent relationship or one for travel only. (Please excuse anything that seems like I'm addressing stereotypes, but the German culture is well known for some characteristics that can help or hinder a vacation or holiday. And these have been confirmed, by the way, by German friends.)

1. When you decide to get together to plan your trip, be on time. That's the first test. Germans like to be punctual. If you're not on time-and I mean if you say one o' clock PM, it must not be a nanosecond later-you will spoil the whole trip with a bad first impression.

2. Discuss how important punctuality is to each of you. If you're traveling to Germany or England, then you better make punctuality a priority. If you're traveling to the U.S., southern Europe or the Middle East, always being right on time is not only nontraditional, it can become a nuisance. As the partner of a German, it can actually be draining. Therefore, it's important to discuss how punctual you really have to be.

3. Germans are used to what they call a program. This is closest in meaning to a schedule of events. First you do this at this time, then you do that at another time and so on. Germans like order and predictability-even on holidays. They often get miffed if something upsets the schedule or program. If you want some spontaneity in your holiday, plan it in. Yes, plan in a period of free time to do what you want. At first, your German partner may balk at this, but it's up to you to teach the cultural phenomenon of spontaneity. Your German traveling partner may not like it, but once he or she does it, it will be easier to do for the next vacation-if there is one.

4. One very useful thing is to plan-and stick to your guns on this one-a day apart while you're on vacation. You do what you want and your partner does what he/she wants. Then you arrange to meet somewhere in the evening. For this, I beg you to be on time. I don't care where you are, be on time after taking time off from your German traveling partner.

5. On the other hand, Germans are very responsible and task-oriented. If one of you has to do the hotel and transportation bookings, leave it to your German traveling partner. Mine likes to figure out timetables and locations and where we have to be, when. I must say that we've always gotten to everywhere we wanted to go. One time we got to the airport six hours early. But... we did make our flight. Be prepared for such adventures. Bring along a big thick novel for occasions like these of being too early.

6. My German partner is quite generous. He, as most Germans, is very good with budgeting. If you need someone to keep track of your combined spending, your German partner will most always be glad to oblige. However, it's not a good idea if you're a female with a German partner and want to do a little shopping. In that case, keep track of your own spending and keep it a secret, of course.

7. If your German partner offers to invite you somewhere-usually to dinner-that means he wants to treat you-or pay for-your dinner. This is a very nice gesture and you should accept. Later on, you can invite him to something for which you pay. But don't use the word treat-as we do in the U.S.; that can be misinterpreted.

When you travel with a German partner, make sure you plan ahead for all the micro-management that may occur on your holiday. Expect it and your vacation together can be fun if you look at it in the right frame of mind. Fight it-and your vacation could be a fiasco.

It's really up to you-but, shhhh, don't tell your German travel partner that you're the one who is really in charge.

Ilene Springer lives with her German partner and teaches EFL in Malta. She is also author of An-American-in-Malta.com.