How to Treat Someone Who is Disabled

I have had lots of friends who were born with a disability in one form or another. Some had Cerebral Palsy and required a wheelchair, others were partially sighted and needed help to read fine print. At school, I would help escort my friends who were wheelchair users to their next class and I would read instructions to friends who had visual problems. I did not normally mind helping my friends, because I knew that they needed extra assistance to help make their school life easier. They wanted to be treated the same as other children. The only difference was their physical disability that slowed them down from time to time, and even that was easily forgotten once I got to know them and became their close friend. As an adult, I have also worked with adults who have physical disabilities. But not everyone knows someone who has a disability, nor would everyone feel comfortable with how to treat people who have a disability. The purpose of this article is to help people overcome their awkwardness and clear up some common misconceptions.

Do not talk over a person who is disabled

This is such a common complaint that I have heard from disabled people. It can be hard to believe it until you see it for yourself. The classic example is going out for a meal, sitting down at a table and for everyone's order to be taken, except for the order of the person who is disabled. The waiter or waitress asks: "What would she like to order?" "She", meaning the lady sitting in the wheelchair. If you have never been in this situation with someone, then let me assure you that it is very rude and inconsiderate to treat anyone like this. The person who is in the wheelchair will readily tell you that it is their legs they cannot use, not their brain, or tongue. So if you meet a customer who just so happens to use a wheelchair, there is no need to panic and feel awkward. Take the time to address them, in the same way you would their accompanying friends or relatives.

Same level

When you are talking to a wheelchair user, do not stand at your full height and talk down at them. The proper etiquette to exercise in this situation is to lower your body, if you are able to, into a position that makes it level with theirs. Rather than kneeling, consider sitting down on a stool or chair to talk to them. This will help you to maintain eye contact on the same level. It will actually make conversation seem more natural too.

Mobility issues

If you are able bodied, you will likely take your mobility and independence for granted. The first time I went shopping with a client who was a wheelchair user, I got to see the world more from her eyes. It was not as easy as navigating around the wheelchair-friendly school site with my friends. My client and I visited a town that had narrow streets, some shops had only stairs, and there were not enough ramps in shop entrances. My client's shopping experience was marred by her inability to get into shops that she wanted to visit. It is worth bearing this in mind if you are an able bodied person.

Common courtesies

Some people will open doors for the elderly or pregnant women, while others will be completely oblivious to the world around them. I would suggest that you open the door if you see a disabled person, whether they are able bodied or a wheelchair user. For those with electric wheelchairs, it can be easier to move around freely. But manual wheelchairs require more work. Not everyone will have a helper with them every time they go out. Opening doors is a common courtesy that does not happen very often anymore. Do not think it means you are singling the person out and that they will accuse you of prejudice just because you are extending a helping hand. On the contrary, you are more likely to meet with a "thank you" because you have helped to make their day just that little bit easier to navigate. Of course, there will always be some who take this the wrong way, but I have seen from personal experience of these situations that these are in the minority.

Bear in mind that disabled people are the same as you or I. Many people get so frustrated because they continue to face discrimination and prejudice from society. Sometimes it is down to pure ignorance. If that is the case, this can be easily remedied by educating youself more about physical disabilities. Disabled people do not want to be treated as different to others around them. They know they have a noticeable difference to you or I, but that does not mean they need to be reminded of it each and every day. Next time you have an encounter with a disabled person, just focus on the actual person and forget their disability.