How to Turn Someone Down for a Date

Maybe it's an amorous co-worker, an old flame or a misguided acquaintance, but the bottom line is you don't want to date him. Turning down a date is always an awkward situation, but with tact and grace, you can do it without damaging your admirer's ego. Dating guru Patti Stanger, of Bravo's "Millionaire Matchmaker," notes that if you are rude when you turn down dates, people see you as "high maintenance and nobody wants to touch you."

Online Rejection
Maura Kelly, author of Marie Claire's dating blog "A Year of Living Flirtatiously," suggests giving an evasive response if the person asks you on a date in person. Avoid an awkward one-on-one rejection. When they ask if you'd like to go out, give a vague, "Sure, maybe sometime." Then mention your crazy schedule, and offer to send an email to set up a time.

Email promptly the next day. Thank him for his interest. If you've already been on a date, thank him for his time as well. Be firm. Say you do not feel any chemistry and are not interested in dating. Don't use a busy schedule or emotional issues as an excuse because the person may take that as a clue to try harder.

Give constructive compliments. List some of the person's good qualities to cushion your rejection. Remind him how those qualities will easily snag him the girl of his dreams. Don't give advice or criticism about things you didn't like. Just because you didn't appreciate their quirky habits doesn't mean someone else won't find them charming.

In-Person Rejection
Be honest and respectful. Don't laugh or mock the request, even if you think it's ridiculous. Be straightforward by saying you just don't think she's the right person for you. If you're afraid the whole truth will embarrass your admirer a little white lie is acceptable. Say you are involved in an on-line relationship, never date co-workers or have decided to postpone dating for a while.

Avoid giving false hope. White lies can backfire if the person pressures you to say you'll honor the date in the future. Don't offer to call her when your situation changes, say she would be perfect if the timing were better or do anything else to give her false hope.

If you enjoy her company, offer to remain friends, but be careful not to send mixed signals. Meeting in groups or for lunch is fine, but cozy dinners at your apartment tell her you're interested in more.

Offer to set her up with one of your friends. Tell her she deserves a great guy, and if you know a worthy man you'll send him her way. If you actually do have a friend you think would be a good match, ask if she'd like to meet him. Even if it doesn't work out, you have firmly closed the door on your budding relationship by hooking her up with a friend.

If she persists by calling and asking you to reconsider, just disappear. Screen your calls and don't answer her texts or emails. If you have been firm and honest, this may be the only way she'll get the message.

College Candy: The 5 Questions We Ask Everyone-Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger
Marie Claire: 4 Tips on How to Say No to a Second Date Nicely