How to Get Your Tween to Talk

Cheri Majors, M.S.
Your tween is making friends, and creating a social life at school, church, and online. Lure your tween into discussions about their real and virtual friends through innovative ways of initiating discussions. You can learn more about their friends and activities, by using these simple techniques.

Driving Your Captive Audience

Because your tween is not yet driving, and is seat-belted while you are driving them around town, be sure to use this time wisely. It is important to take this time to engage your child in conversation; so turn down the radio, and start asking indirect questions.

Ask more pointed questions once you have a specific topic, such as a new friend, a class project, activities, or event invitations. Always ask your tween who, what, when, where, and why, to prevent future misunderstandings, or clear up any discrepancies relating to your child's real or virtual friendships.

Family Dinner Table Talks

Research has shown that family dinners create a sense of belonging while instilling better nutritional choices, opening the way for lively family discussions. According to "Family Meals: More than Just Eating at Home" from Meals Matter online at http://www.mealsmatter.org/EatingForHealth/Topics/Healthy-Living-Articles/Family-Meals.aspx ; children experienced "better nutritional intake, and a decreased risk for unhealthy weight control practices and substance abuse."

Additional studies were cited in the above mentioned article from research conducted at the University of Minnesota and Harvard. They reinforce the facts that healthier kids make better choices in life, whether you're around or not, and are more likely to discuss them at your next family dinner meal.

Kitchen Table-Snacking Talks

Kitchen table talks can be easy to initiate with an assortment of healthy fruits and dipping snacks. Your tween is growing quickly, and is probably hungry all the time anyway, so entice them to join you around the kitchen table to talk, under the guise of sweet snacking.

Try setting up a selection of sour granny (green) apples and pear slices, including dip bowls filled with Nutella chocolate, and peanut butter. For another engaging snack activity, guaranteed to make any tween talk, try cutting bananas into bite-sized chunks, dip them into syrup using toothpicks, and have plates of chopped nuts, and shredded coconut to roll them around in.

Your kids will be dipping, eating, and talking without even knowing it! As long as you have a captive audience your tween will have no other alternative but to talk about new friends, new fun, and important activities you need to know about.

Published by Cheri Majors, M.S.

A former model/actress who changed careers and college degrees to care for more than 70 special-needs foster children, while earning a Master's degree in Human Sciences & Early Childhood Education. Authored...  View profile

16 Comments

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  • Cheri Majors, M.S.11/1/2010

    Thanks for your kind comments Sheryl and Jeanne!!!

  • Jeanne Baney11/1/2010

    Having raised four kids, I always found driving to have key moments. Listening instead of doing the talking with just a question here or there. You had a lot of very good tips!

  • Sheryl Young10/30/2010

    Much needed info! Parent-teen conversations are so important

  • Cheri Majors, M.S.10/27/2010

    Thanks for reading Oscar and Tony!

  • Tony Payne10/27/2010

    Good tips. Getting their attention is the hardest part.

  • Oscar Crawford10/26/2010

    Whatever it takes.

  • Cheri Majors, M.S.10/26/2010

    Thanks for stopping by Zona and Laura!!!

  • Laura Everly10/26/2010

    Good article. Laura Everly

  • Zona Zirconia10/25/2010

    great article ♥

  • Cheri Majors, M.S.10/25/2010

    Thanks for reading Cherri and Melissa!!!

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