How Two Associated Content Contributors Will (Not) Celebrate Their Birthdays

Don't think all successful Associated Content contributors have it easy just because of their birthdays. No indeed, a scientific study shows 2 out of 2 Associated Content contributors will be working and/or sedated on their natal days. This important research was conducted in an interview on July 27, 2009

Birthday Interview with Maria Roth, and Allene Newberg Bilodeau (who must always be called by three names due to unfortunate childhood issues), Associated Content um, sources, no, contributors:

Linda: When is your birthday?
Maria: July 28
Allene+Newberg+Bilodeau: I arrived August 2nd in the first half of the last century in a city known as the Big Fruit. Or something similar.

Linda : How old are you?
Maria: 32, but I don't look a day over 21. In fact, I look MANY days over 21
Allene, Newberg, Bilodeau: I was part of the cutting edge newcomers later known as the post-war Baby Boomers. (Sounds cooler than my age.) Trivia: Maria is the same age as our daughter, Amy. And Amy is my 4th. So I'm literally old enough to be Maria's mom. (Or grandmother in some insane parts of the world.)

Linda: How do you plan to celebrate?
Maria: By slacking off all day! I won't be reading ANY boring AC articles (not that they're ever boring). If I write anything, it's going to be for pure enjoyment only. My son will be in summer camp all day, which is a treat in and of itself. If my daughter wants to play dinosaurs, I will tell her, "Nope. Mommy doesn't play dinosaurs on Mommy's special day. Let's go get some frozen custard instead."
Then, after supper, which I won't be cooking, I get to go to work! YES! And I'm going to continue my 32-years-of-slacking-off birthday celebration at work. (I work in the Misses department of a store that rhymes with "bowls.") I am going to fold slowly, put clothes away in all the wrong places, complain loudly about how I have to work on my birthday, and gossip freely about all the cruel managers and that one girl we all hate (just kidding!). After work, I'll come home and play Battleship with my husband (I swear that's not a code word for anything kinky; I do mean the actual board game with little plastic ships and white and red pegs, although...Never mind. That's none of your business, Linda!).

Allene;Newberg;Bilodeau: With quiet dignity & drugs. Not the old fashioned fun kind from my college days. It will be 4 days after my gall bladder surgery. Not even something exotic, but the classic old crone operation! Probably won't be up for the customary Leo-style birthday parties that I love. Grrrrrr. What a rip!

Linda: Tell us a memory of your favorite birthday celebration:
Maria: That's tough. My birthday often coincided with our summer family vacations. I know we went river-rafting in Wyoming on one of my birthdays--maybe when I turned 10? That was pretty cool.

I found out I was pregnant for the first time on my 24th birthday. Now, THAT was pretty memorable. I was so freaked out (I mean, "excited." Yes, I was very excited). My husband and I were out running errands--fun birthday errands, like buying CDs and stuff--and I said, "Hey, let's stop at the drugstore for a pregnancy test!" I waited until that evening to take the test. I honestly didn't expect the positive result. That was the first time I thought about the little boy who's 7 years old now! The one who's at summer camp all week. He's really an amazing kid. Now I'm crying. Jeez.
Allene Newberg (NO H! Not Newburgh!) Bilodeau: Oooh! My 6th birthday. Mom let me have my 1st "big" party. I got to invite 10 kids. Ten! I invited my first ever best friend, Susie Walton. And all her siblings. That took up 6 of the 10. Lynn next door came & a little boy down the street, Jackie. Maybe I counted my 2 yr-old brother, Stevie. Anyway, on the day of the party, I was a Mexican jumping bean of excitement! Mom had laid out the most wonderful new party dress ever. Shiny sheer red nylon & w/ white lace pinafore & a full swirly skirt over layers of petticoat. I was a ballerina when I put it on! Honestly, I've never had a cooler dress. When Mom placed the glowing cake in front of me, I saw that a tiny ballerina in pink tutu danced on my cake while everyone sang. This was Heaven! But when I opened the presents, Jackie had given me girlie underwear! OMG, a little boy gave me undies! Everyone giggled, & Jackie was as mortified as I was. What was his mom thinking?! Then when we played London Bridge, one of us got confused & went charging under the "bridge" the wrong way. BAM! Jackie & I slammed heads & fell to the floor howling in tears. We recovered, but it was all memorable & one of my best parties ever! (My little sister got the dress years later & outgrew it at age 4!)

Linda: Were you an Associated Content Crap Pusher*, scuse me, Contributor at the time of your last birthday?
Maria:Yes! I signed up for AC the day before my last birthday. I just wrote about that in my "One Year on AC" article. You can include a hyperlink to that excellent article if you like, Linda. Here it is, a hyperlink to that excellent article *includes introduction of the term Crap Pusher.

Allene N e w b e r g (not Oldberg!) Bilodeau:No. Ignore the start date on my Source Page. A close friend in my writing group turned me on to AC in spring of '07, so I signed up. But I was totally technophobic & my computer smelled my fear, so it wasn't until Nov of '08 that I dared try to publish. I was a newbie last fall.

Linda: How will being on AC make this birthday different from others? For instance, will you receive more or less birthday cards, presents, and cakes?
Maria: Well, I've already received a very clever birthday poem from Thomas Lane and nice birthday wishes from Michael Segers. And a rather cruel Facebook message from Brandon Myers--it's okay, Brandon; I LOVE being called "old." He was only teasing, anyway. I never would have met those people, if not for AC. And I certainly didn't fill out a questionnaire like this one on my last birthday because that was before I knew the lovely Linda Louise Johnson. This is seriously my favorite present so far, Linda. Oh, it's not better than the new laptop that my husband already gave me, but it's still really, really thoughtful. I like sharing the spotlight here (Leos don't like to share the spotlight, normally) with Allene Newberg Bilodeau, one of my favorite people on AC or anywhere. I'm so glad I met Allene and all of you Mobsters (you know who you are).
I doubt my AC friends will give me a cake. That's not to say that they shouldn't give me a cake, 'cause they really should. A carrot cake would be excellent. Baked from scratch with crushed pineapple in it and THICK cream cheese frosting. Thanks!

Allene Newberg yada yada etc.: Well, I expect I'll be showered with creative greetings, cards from all over the world, praises and presents beyond my wildest dreams as a highly respected Crap Pusher, er... Content Producer, er ...Contributor at AC. Naturally. I mean, weren't you, Lindy Lou?! Seriously, I have made genuine real-life friends since coming to AC. Even if I haven't met most of them in person, the heart-to-heart connections are sometimes deeper than what I share with many people I call friends in my daily life. That's been the real gift of AC. That, and of course, the enormous wealth that pours in monthly. *snicker*

Linda: Do you deserve to receive more on your birthday than you expect to? If so, what and why?
Maria: I wanted a laptop soooooo badly, and my husband went out and got one while I was at work last Saturday. Since I have to work on my birthday, he gave me my present early. I'm typing this on my new laptop right now! Yay! I have nothing to complain about. I'm blessed in thousands of ways.
I like the new Depeche Mode CD my husband gave me, too. Maybe my kids will make me a cool card and actually listen to me on my birthday.

Allene NewbieBillygoat: When it comes down to it, I think we all deserve more than we've come to expect. I don't mean just birthdays or money. Ya know?

Linda Louise: Do you refuse to answer these questions? Ok, then your part of the story will be blank.
Maria: No way am I letting you leave me out of your article, Linda! Thanks for doing this! I encourage you to go on and on and on about what a nice person I am, and how I'm the best thing about AC, etc., etc., etc. I don't REALLY look 32 years old, do I? I'll send you the picture I forced Dan to take yesterday.

Allene Newbygoat Billyberg:Yeah, just try it, Missy & see what I do on YOUR next birthday! You think that "Happy Birthday, Lindy Lou" poem w/ funny photos was embarrassing? Just wait, (as I cleverly manage to plug my own work...) And P.S. Happy birthday to my esteemed colleague & Leo pal, Maria!! And a big thank you to our own Lindy Lou.

Any mentions of astrology and enorrnous wealth do not necessarily reflect the views of the editor.