How Victim Blaming Harms Abuse and Assault Survivors

Victim blaming is the act of holding a victim responsible for the crime done against her, rather than the perpetrator for his actions. Victims are made to feel that abuse and assault is a natural consequence of being a less-than-perfect spouse or wearing revealing clothing. Victim blaming harms survivors of abuse and assault, making it more difficult for them to seek legal action or get the help they need.

Victim blaming takes responsibility away from the perpetrator and implies that he cannot control his actions. A perpetrator will often blame his victim to discourage her from pressing charges for assault or leaving an abusive situation. He might say that she was teasing him and so he couldn't stop himself from raping her, or promise that he won't hit her again if only she'd do what he asked for next time. Over time, this erodes the victim's self-confidence. She begins to take responsibility for others' behavior and believe that if people hurt her, she must have done something wrong and their actions must be a reasonable response. She might start believing that if she "leads a man on" by flirting or wearing revealing clothing, she owes him sex, or that if her husband hits her it is only because he loves her and wants her to learn to be a better wife.

If the only victim blaming came from perpetrators, it would be simple for victims to avoid internalizing it and to find outside support to help them. However, victim blaming is a pervasive force in society. It is common for sexual assault victims to be questioned in court about their dress, alcohol consumption, and past sexual behavior. Factors like financial dependency, fears of retaliation, and needing to provide for one's children are often ignored in order to tell abuse victims that if they stay in an abusive relationship for any reason, they have chosen it freely and deserve to be hurt.

Victim blaming even comes from other victims. Often it is a way for victims to take back power over their own lives: if they have control over the crimes done against them, then they have some control over their relationship and their fate. Victim blaming can also stem from a fear of being revictimized: if the first attack was the perpetrator's responsibility, then the victim is still vulnerable, but if it was the victim's responsibility, she can protect herself from being attacked again.

With such messages bombarding them from all sides, it is no wonder that it can be difficult for an abuse or assault victim to find the help and support she needs. Society as a whole must stop absolving perpetrators of their responsibility if we wish to protect victims from further harm.