How to Make a Visit to the Doctor Less Scary for Your Child

No one likes going to the doctor, but it is especially scary to children because they are in an unfamiliar setting, a person they do not know has to poke and prod them, and sometimes it hurts if they have to get a shot or give blood. Children do not understand that this "stranger" is actually helping them, and that the "hurt" is doing them far more good than bad. So as parents, it is our job to help our children be less afraid of going to the doctor. We are then not only helping our children by keeping them calm, but we are also helping out the doctors and nurses perform their job better because it is a lot easier treating a calm and cooperative patient than one who is scared to death and most likely crying.

Most parents know that children do get sick a lot and also have quite a few "well-baby" or "well-child" visits. My son had all of his normal doctors' visits, but when he was about six months old, he was diagnosed with anemia, and later GERD and stomach ulcers, and he saw a doctor and had blood tests almost weekly for the next nine months. So we have had our fair share of crying (and calming techniques!) in doctors' offices.

Keeping Calm at the Doctor Tip #1: YOU Must Be Calm

I will never forget the day that Children's Hospital called me with my son's test results, and the lady on the phone told me to get him to the hospital immediately, and bring my husband with me because they were going to have to give my baby a blood transfusion and hopefully one of us was a match. She told me that my son was so anemic he was bordering on heart failure, and I had to take him straight to the hematology department at Children's Hospital, and she thought he would most likely have to be admitted into the hospital for a transfusion because they had never seen a baby so young with hemoglobin as low as his was. I completely went to pieces, as no mother should ever have to hear that about her baby.

After this day, I had to take my son for weekly blood tests, and 1-2 times a month, he had to also be examined by the hematologist, and we did this routine for the next nine months as they figured out what was wrong with him and got him well again. For the first 6-8 weeks, I cried every time my son did. Every time they had to hold him down and draw his blood, you would have thought they were doing it to me too. Then I realized that he was picking up on my own fears and anxieties, and that what he needed most from me was for me to be brave and calm. And when I started acting like it was no big deal to be there, he too started behaving much more calmly.

Keeping Calm at the Doctor Tip #2: Promise to Stay with Your Child

Obviously this tip is really only helpful to a child who is old enough to understand, but reassuring even your baby in the loving tones of your voice will do more than you realize. My son was, of course, a small baby, when he was at the doctor so much, but every time we were there, I held him very close and rocked him and would promise and assure him that Mommy was going to be with him the whole time, and that it was okay to be scared, but the doctor was there to make him better.

Keeping Calm at the Doctor Tip #3: Bring Favorite Toy(s) to the Doctor's Office

Most children have a favorite toy that they like to play with, including babies. My son's favorite toy at the time was this little blue and red teething ring that was in the shape of a person. We took this toy every time we went to visit the doctor, and it gave him something to hold and slightly distract him while we were there. If your child is old enough, it may also be a good idea to have your child have a little "show and tell" of that toy with the doctor and/or nurse that will be caring for them, as this could also help calm them down. The interaction allows the doctor to seem more like a person to your child, and therefore less scary to them.

Along the same note, if your child is old enough, and happens to own a toy medical kit, it may also be good to bring this along with you. You can certainly use this toy at home to teach your child about the different medical instruments and what they are used for. You can do exams on your child's dolls or stuffed animals, or even you. You can listen to their heartbeat, check their temperature, and even give them pretend shots, and all of this will help teach your child about those instruments, so that when they see the real thing, it will hopefully seem more like a game and not so frightening. But if your pediatrician allows you, it might be good for your child to listen to their heartbeat with their own stethoscope. Just like in "show and tell", it really allows that doctor to seem more personal and again less intimidating to your child, and may make the visit go much more smoothly.

Keeping Calm at the Doctor Tip #4: Read Children's Books about the Doctor's Visit

There are so many children's books out there about going to the doctor, and this is a very wise investment to make. One of my favorites as a kid was a book called "Doctor Dan", and I often read that one to my son. And even though my son was just a baby when we were going to the doctor so much, it may have helped and I did not even realize it. My son did get familiar with the pictures in that book, and so some things at the doctor's office may have been more familiar to him because of that book. I know that as he gets older, because that book is a regular in this house, it will continue in helping him with each doctor's visit he has.

Keeping Calm at the Doctor Tip #5: Knowledge is Power

If your child is old enough to understand, it is a good idea to explain what the doctor or nurse is going to do and why. Children understand things around them a whole lot more than we, as parents, sometimes give them credit for. And by treating them more "grown-up" in your explanation - although do be sensitive to their age and only explain things to them at their level - they may be more brave and act more mature while at the doctor's office. It is also important while at the doctor's office to make sure your child is included in the discussions with the doctors and/or nurses about what is being done.

If your child is not really old enough to understand such things, as my son really was not, knowledge is still a good thing for you to have. I familiarized myself as much as possible with my son's conditions, and by knowing and understanding myself what was going on with him, I was able to be calmer for him, and I was able to make better decisions about his ongoing medical treatment.

Keeping Calm at the Doctor Tip #6: Promise a Treat

At a certain age, probably around age 2, children start to grasp the concept of treats and rewards, and it is without doubt acceptable to use this method for particular things in life. I think for doctor's appointments, it is okay to do. It gives your child something to look forward to during the visit, which can be enough of a distraction to get through the doctor's visit, no matter what they have to do. This "treat" can be something as simple as going through drive-thru or getting ice cream or even a promise of going to the park afterwards to play. It does not have to be some expensive or extravagant thing, but something small that your child enjoys.

Hopefully some of these tips are helpful to you as you find ways of helping your child be less afraid of going to the doctor. Going to the doctor is something we all have to do at some point in our lives, whether it be for something as routine as a check-up or for some major medical problem. But it is possible, and it is our job as a parent to help our child learn to keep calm at the doctor.