How Do We Define Ourself?

What does it mean to be attached to your "story?"

Why do we, human beings, have stories?

Here is an opportunity that you are invited to explore with me. What is my "story?"

It is whatever we repeat over and over in our minds and then react to, because we believe every thing that comes into our mind as truth and absolutely valid and important. We are not in the habit of questioning our own thoughts to ensure it is part of reality.

Even now the mind may already be starting the internal dialog.... "Oh, I know where this is going, and it's not good; or I better be careful, you could get brain washed into thinking something that just isn't right; or this is another one of those so called insights that just doesn't make any sense -so why even bother?"

As we can see, our mind can come up with all kinds of random concepts, and it could have nothing to do with reality -yet, we are in the habit of unconsciously believing those thoughts and then living our lives in response to the thoughts, verses the reality.

Let's explore a little further, so there is a bit more clarity; starting with an example that has most likely happened with the majority reading this now. That is the irony of the mind, controlled by ego; it's not personal, but a momentum that has been going on for centuries.

Imagine you are walking into the grocery store to purchase a few items before heading home to prepare for dinner. As you walk in, the mind begins with the mental check list of needs, then may even begin to tally where the item(s) can be found, how much they may cost, how quickly they can be found, what is for dinner, how long will it take, and so on. For many, frequent thoughts may also come to mind during this time that reflects -such as an event that took place at work that day, earlier in the week or at home with a family member, etc. Many even begin to incorporate thoughts that reflect something they heard or read in the news, begin to do the mental check list of bills, and ofcourse the many commentaries that go along with these thoughts which trigger your emotional response; such as "how could s/he of said what they did/how could they not see I'm right about... I won't forget that" or if s/he would just do what I ask... so they don't deserve... (Whatever food item considering purchase)" or "what is wrong with people today... why is s/he taking so long in this isle; can't they see I'm in a hurry and need to get over there?"

Interesting, isn't it. So let's back up a little and see what is really happening. The reality is you have walked into the store, have walked up and down certain isles to find the food items of choice, have gone to the check out lane, paid for your items and left. However, as having accepted every thought as important, applicable to what is happening in reality at that moment - you are now experiencing frustration, impatience, possibly anger and even resentment. Then as you experience these emotions, they may bring about another on slough of thoughts to "feed" that emotion. Examples of that may be, "Oh great, the person in front of me has so many more items and it's their fault I'm going to be late. Why can't people learn to do their shopping better/earlier/on their own time/at a different time, etc. They probably aren't eating right/have too many children/don't know how to shop, etc."

Yet, back to reality, you have physically walked into a store, sought the items you needed, followed the process of checking out and leaving. Yet, you now feel in that moment you've just had the biggest argument or even feel attacked, when in reality none of this has happened.

So what are we trying to do here? In essence, wake up to how our thoughts are what causes the majority of our upset and problems. Of course, the mind will tell you that it is something that happened outside of self; "No, if that cashier would not have typed in that persons item wrong ahead of me, then I wouldn't be upset; it's their fault/they did this to me/this just ruined my day/I don't have time for someone else's mistakes, etc." In truth, yes, the cashier may have entered an item code incorrectly, but it is thought of having to label the experience or the person as bad, inefficient, inadequate, etc so that the mind can feel superior and a "victim of circumstance" as a way of having/creating/confirming an imagined identity in order to make itself feel fulfilled or whole/complete/justified.

Ofcourse the ego does know that it continuously creates the internal dialog, to find ways to create an identity. It just does it, by promoting thoughts that will cause you to feel inferior/superior, right vs. being wrong, a victim to circumstance, etc. Thus, inevitably your internal "story" gives you an identity, even though it is false; it isn't who or what you are. You are not the emotion or experience; you are that which observed/noticed it.

For many or most, the momentum of the ego has you believe that "my history/my story defines me, it is what/who I am." In other words, I am the person who suffered, because "I can tell you about what my ex did/didn't do and I won't forget that" or "so and so said this about me and they are wrong... etc."

The realization here is that events you may have experienced are not what/who you are. They define the event, not you. Just as the roles we do in life, are not what we are. I am not a PhD; I have completed an education (a function) that is a PhD program/education. You are not an Electrician, Doctor, mother/father, cashier, counselor, realtor, grounds keeper, etc. These are mere labels; roles or functions that you fulfill. To "identify with this story" and the experiences attached to them, as your ego would have you believe, is the reason we create our own "suffering" when we are no longer fulfilling these functions, for what ever reason that it discontinues (which is a natural part of life).

When we believe the thought, "I am a mother (or replace with the job title your identified with)"and then when the responsibilities that go with that role are finished (i.e. your child is legally an adult and living on their own); we find ourselves feeling empty, less than, hopeless, and invalidated. We experience that because we believed that to be "our self" the definition of what/who we are lay outside of our being -that we are what we experience or the function/label we have taken on. It is in sacred texts, worded many ways, and to what I refer is the reminder that we no longer have to suffer as a way of life or of being in life.

The truth is, that part of you that notices you are having these thoughts; that observes your actions, activities and how you are responding to your thoughts -is you. Your mind may be saying, "now wait a minute, I know or this can't be because..." and that is fine. Just continue to notice what the mind tries to tell you and merely be aware of how your body/emotions may react. Are you experiencing frustration, anger or are you beginning to fidget in your seat?

Just notice how your body/emotions arise when you have thoughts. Even in this moment, you are just reading words on a screen or paper, and what ever thoughts you are having about it, is creating your emotional response and your physical response. We always have the ability to question any thought that arises. As Byron Katie points out in her exercises and demonstrations to self awareness, simply ask, is it true? Can I absolutely know that it is true, better than God/Creation/what lies in the future/the person who I am labeling/judging, their own mind/experiences/heart; beyond a shadow of a doubt?

The wonderful thing about this awareness, or steps pointing to your true awareness, is that we begin to realize together, that whatever thought we have, the body/emotions will follow. I could just be sitting, stirring cream into a cup of tea, yet feeling anxiety, frustration, depression or anger because my thoughts are telling me a story of the past or an unknown future. The ego is drawn to and despises future, because it cannot be known. The fear of the ego is anything that cannot be known. Without something to identify or label, it cannot create the false sense of self to identify with. This is why we find the mind repeating past events, because, "who would I be without reminding myself over and over with my story, my life... it's my life... so it must be who/what I am." Yet, reality in that moment, and even unrelated, was I was just stirring cream into a cup of tea. No person present that a conversation was being had regarding such thoughts, etc.

Additionally we are beginning to understand or accept that change is inevitable. That which we experience moment to moment; or the events, things, etc that exist in this moment will change in the next. One cannot be something that is, in essence, non-existent in the next moment. In other words, the past does not exist; the future does not exist; only this moment is what is happening. When you get to a future event, it is still, this moment. For practical purposes, we plan, set appointments, etc. Our understanding is the realization that anything that is constantly changing, (i.e. jobs, vocations, education, likes/dislikes, responsibilities, etc) is not reality. It is what happens in it, but it's not it.

Just as you are not the body that you express through or appear as, your career, your education, the mental processing or your IQ, etc. You are the presence that is within/behind/around your being. Just as words of wisdom have pointed to in sacred texts as well as in present day teachings in our attempts to understand what the words are pointing to in sacred texts, including those spoken through Eckert Tolle as he describes; You are the noticer, observer and space or stillness that is deep within; that which never changes. This part of you tends to be less recognized or is kept in the background sometimes veiled very deeply depending on how grossly controlled you are by your ego. It is the truth within, so we are working together to remove illusions so you may "see yourself" and experience life consciously; fully in the present where joy, peace, love and harmony can easily reside more consistently.

Thoughts may arise that say, "if I do that, then I will lose my ability to be organized, get things done, or I will behave recklessly." The opposite is actually the truth. To live from the reality of being fully aware, conscious and/or present allows the deeper wisdom that comes from and is directly linked to you here. You are able to think, however, it becomes clear, concise without the energy draining and life depleting experience from useless mental rambling, story creating and unnecessary labeling of self, people and events.

Let us take time to digest this by just being present in this moment. You may begin to notice that if you have been reading this through the eyes or knowledge of the mind, it seems unclear. The ego/mind may be saying, "This makes no sense at all". That is because, the place where inspiration, creativity and wisdom reside and are "tapped into" comes from this place or space that is still, aware, ever present and directly linked to creation/God and that which make all one or of one/same energy. It is the place of peace and clarity, the "peace that passeth all understanding." It engages ego/mind as little as possible, for this is not of form and is not susceptible to change.

This is but a facet to areas in our life experiences that can point in the direction of intention. There will be more ways of indicators in further writings. Peace in your life journey; it is the spiritual path.

Note from author: This article is written in the space of inspiration, with prayerful intent prior, during and after the words enter paper/computer documentation and into the process of publication. The writer does acknowledge existing authors to whom also are an inspiration, as well as supporting content. It is in inspiration and practical application that one may repeat the truths spoke through other; sometimes as a direction to continue sharing with those traveling on a similar path. It is not unusual that we may discover truth, as it is found in many forms where ever we may venture. Author's recommended at this time, are: Byron Katie, Eckert Tolle, Wayne Dyer and any sacred text(s) you felt called to reference. Namaste'.