How and Why to Challenge the Desire to Be the "Perfect" Dieter

Do you seek perfection when you go on a diet '" and then get mad at yourself when you fail to meet those goals of perfection? I remember when I was in my early 20s: my roommate and I decided to follow a diet that required us to eat half a grapefruit before every meal. Breakfast was grapefruit and a hard-boiled egg; lunch consisted of TWO hard-boiled eggs, grapefruit, and a lettuce salad, and dinner involved a skinless chicken breast, green beans - and more grapefruit.

By the weekend, we were both nauseated by the mere sight of a grapefruit, groaning when we prepared yet another round of hard-boiled eggs, and bored with chicken. We spent Saturday night stuffing ourselves with ice cream - and Sunday morning consoling ourselves for our "failure" with a visit to IHOP.

Whether it's aiming to take a class at the gym seven days a week while living on protein shakes or running five miles daily while eating nothing but protein, seeking perfection can drain your energy. Moreover, if you tend to console yourself for failure by overeating, you can find yourself on an unhealthy roller-coaster of losing and gaining the same pounds over and over.

Learn how to change those self-demanding diet goals to ones that you can keep:

1. Take baby steps, not giant leaps, when it comes to diet and exercise. For example, set a goal of taking two classes a week at the gym for a month while keeping your food intake the same. Then, after you've succeeded in turning that goal into a happy habit, make a small diet change, such as shifting from cream in your coffee to non-fat milk in your coffee. Keep it simple and attainable.

2. Reward yourself for your successes with non-food treats. After you've taken those gym classes for a month, treat yourself to a massage, or a movie with a friend, or a new pair of shoes. Get in the habit of using non-food rewards, so that food has its proper place in your life.

3. Let go of an all-or-nothing attitude toward your diet. For example, suppose you go out to dinner with friends. You had planned to avoid the bread basket. But the smell of fresh-baked, hot cornbread (your favorite!) tempts you too much. You have one piece, covered with butter, and then another. Instead of mentally beating yourself up for "failure," accept it. You ate it, it's over with, and you can move on. Two pieces of cornbread do NOT have to result in a week-long food binge.

4. Recognize if you need help, and ask your doctor or other health care provider to recommend a therapist experienced in eating disorders. Take the time to care for yourself emotionally as well as physically. You're worth it!