How to Win the Facebook War
REALIZE WHY FACEBOOK GOT SO POPULAR. Because of Facebook, now you don't have to wait 5 years for the high school reunion - you can rub your successes in everybody's face in REAL TIME. Why do you think Twitter's doing so well? Because it's even faster than Facebook. Do not let this realization slide as you read further on, Paduwan.
USE THE DELETE BUTTON. As you move out of town to get away from the box, to find the new you, realize that losers even farther down the totem pole will find you, latch onto you, and want to tag Facebook pictures of you. You, even in your insecure, acne infested molehall of a worldspace, are a winner to them. You must be ruthless. Monitor your Facebook at least twice a week and delete their tags as soon as you find them. How would the hometown feel if they saw you floundering about with such nerr-do-wells and scalawags? Remember the church. Remember the school. And above all, remember Sally Jo, your sworn foe and rival to the death.
ACTIVELY SOLICIT SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE. You got away to become more successful in life, right? So fake it til ya make it and go find some people to take some Facebook pics with that would make your old friends proud. And more importantly, make your old friends JEALOUS. You really have to embrace your darkside on this one. There's nothing wrong with presenting an image of success, even when you're not successful. Bernie Madoff, anyone? Hello?! Remember, this is a war you have to win. And you better look good; otherwise, the REAL winners'll delete your s@$# in a heartbeat. You should see my articles on Investments. This is a big investment.
Tips & Warnings
- If you REALLY dig FB this much, get a life. I mean that in the nicest possible way. Mwah.
- I'm sorry the world is this way, but it is. Get over it and win. What do you want to see over your tombstone? I moved out of town to hang with more losers who didn't understand me, or I did what I needed to do to grow and prosper?
Published by Chrisdavy
AC's licentious, guilty pleasure. What can I say? I write about sex and money. You know, the important stuff. Giggle. (But I do it so well!) Fashion, too. LOL View profile
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11 Comments
Post a CommentThat's a unique take.
So true!
Well, Judith, the whole point of this article is to make you see that FB isn't all it's cracked up to be. Old friends KIT old school: by phone, or *gasp* IRL VISITS. LOL There's no hurt to get over. I have ppl who used to BULLY me back in school want to be friends now. I reject em flat out.
BOTTOM LINE: FB is for comparing lives, not getting back in touch with old friends. If you're not into that shallow crap, which I sense you are not, then don't take FB personally at all.
How do I get over the hurt I feel when I ask someone to 'friend' me and they reject me? It really hurts... It could be someone I knew from my past who I thought was a really good friend...
Sally Jo!.. You knew Sally Jo..?
I been lookin for her for just about ever!
Could you, do you suppose have her send me a "friend request"?
And wait till she hears how successful I been!
EXACTLY, Dale! LOL I used to think that ppl actually wanted to KIT, until I actually wrote ppl back and got ZERO response! Facebook is such a high school reunion stereotype it's not funny
It kinda is true people are just nosey or curious about how you're living your life they really don't stay in contact otherwise.
Facebook can be used to share with your friends and family. Why get sucked into the superficialness of it all? Be true to yourself and who you are. It makes no difference what you think of me, you're not the one living my life.
i don't agree with the word delete ...
Sad, scary, and true. lol.