How to Win a Girl Back

Get Her to Fall in Love with You...again

A. Kalyani, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Dec 11, 2006 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."

So you've lost the love of your life. If she really is the love of your life, you're probably devastated. Maybe you don't even feel like getting out of bed. But cheer up. If she had a reason to leave, chances are you can give a reason to come back. But from start to finish of the "winning her back" process, you need to move carefully and with utmost love.

Check in with your soul.
Be honest with your own heart. Why are you aching? Is it just because you were used to having her around, and now you're lonely? Is it because everything has changed? Or is it because she really filled a place in your heart that no one else ever has? Does everything you see, everything you hear, everything you smell, somehow remind you of her? Do you long to be with her, to have her back again?

Look even deeper inside and ask yourself, What would you be willing to do for her? If she was chronically ill, would you gladly take care of her? If she gained fifty pounds or turned into a grouch, would you still adore her just for being "her"? If you care about this girl unconditionally, it's love. If you can't go on in life without her and would do anything for her, it's love. Once you've determined that this is really love, you will have the motivation to do what it takes to pursue her.

Admit your wrong.
Why did she walk away in the first place? Was there something you did that hurt her? Or maybe something you wouldn't talk to her about? Nothing works a miracle quite like saying, "I'm sorry." Before you go to talk to her, be honest with yourself. Have you really opened your heart to her, or is there something you've kept from her? Have you really been kind with your words and actions, or have you done something selfish that made her lose? Write down the things you did wrong and then go to her with your apology. And when you apologize, don't point out what she did wrong. Just tell her that you're sorry, and ask her if she can find it in her heart to forgive you. And most important of all, mean it.

Change what needs changing.
Apologies don't mean much if they aren't followed up by change. This doesn't mean that you should alter your personality, or sense of humor, or taste in art, to fit her fancy; in fact, if she really loves you, she will appreciate your unique likes and personality traits! But some things are just plain unacceptable. If you have some habit that offends or hurts her, saying sorry isn't enough. For her sake - and even more, for your own sake - you need to get rid of bad habits and change things that need changing.

For a girl, it means a lot to hear you express your intent to change. So if there is something you know she wants to see different in your life, tell her you've decided to change it. Even ask her (if you can) to help you with it, or tell her that you want to be open to talking about it. Tell her the steps you're going to take towards living differently. Whether this means holding your tongue when you want to swear, or going into a rehab. program, it will mean the world to her to know you are willing to change in order to love her better.

Notice her amazing qualities.
Every girl longs to be told how unique and special she is. And there isn't a person who doesn't have her own special traits. So what is it that draws you to your favorite girl? What do you love about her? The way her eyes sparkle when she smiles? The sound of her laugh? The amazing fudge brownies she makes? Whatever it is that you love about her, write them down and tell her! Better yet, write her an all-out love letter admitting your true feelings, and telling her the things you adore about her. Pour out your heart, and expound upon your beauty. You won't regret this step of honesty.

Never give up.
Winston Churchhill's advice, "Never, never, never give up!" definitely holds true here. A girl wants to know you really love her. And one way to show her she means the world to you is to pursue her relentlessly. Now, this doesn't mean being pigheaded if it's obvious she's no longer interested in you: it's true that there are times relationships can't be mended, and there are some matches that just aren't meant to be. But if there is even the slightest, sublest hint that she is falling for you again, or if you know she really loved you but just couldn't put up with something about you, don't be afraid to go after her again. Let her know that you want to win her…and then win her! If she realizes that she is a prize you're willing to sacrifice for, that will make her want you all the more.

Sometimes we give up too quickly on the things we want most. So when it comes to the love of your life, don't give in that easy. Admit what you did wrong, go back to her and tell her everything you really love about her. Tell her you can't live without her and will do anything for her; and then, prove it. It just might be the love story of a lifetime.

Published by A. Kalyani

I hope my unique perspectives and discoveries may inspire you to do your own searching and discovering...in the same way that the past discoveries of other explorers and writers have led me to go on my own a... View profile

To win a girl back, you have to truly love her.
Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes, and to change for the better.
Tell her what you love about her.

Alligator dens can be 40 feet deep.

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How to Win a Girl Back

Get Her to Fall in Love with You...again

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