How Women Should Communicate with Their Doctor
When it comes to your health, it's essential to find a doctor who will listen and take your concerns seriously. Unfortunately, many male doctors tend to "tune out" women they consider complainers or find whiny. It's important to learn how to voice your concerns in a tone and tenor that a doctor will actually hear. It's also important to learn what questions to ask and to know when you're being led around the proverbial mulberry bush with double talk and "med speak." Through years of searching for the right doctor to diagnose and treat my lupus, I found that being prepared can make the difference between receiving proper or improper treatment.
Take Another Adult With You
Like most of us, doctors tend to be on their best behavior with a witness in the room. Ask to record the visit and see what the reaction is.
Do Your Homework
There are volumes of information online on symptoms and diseases, but be prudent. Don't go in with a list of 20 possible diseases. Consider other related factors or other causes for your symptoms. For example, if you have gastric reflux, consider your eating habits and stress levels. Presenting your symptoms and lifestyle in clear terms is important for a proper diagnosis.
Write Everything Down and Take It With You
Showing your doctor that you have done your research and that you are trying to help him by providing all the needed information will go a long way toward being heard. Write down a list of symptoms and possible causes. Know which questions to ask and be prepared to take notes on the answers your doctor gives. Create a pill card that tells your doctor which medications you are currently taking, even over-the-counter drugs and supplements.
Use Medical Terms
Doctors are often not good at speaking in layman's terms, so learn the medical names and terminology so you can ask intelligent questions and present your best case. If you don't understand something your doctor says, don't be afraid to ask him to clarify or define.
Ask Questions About Possibly Unnecessary Tests
In this litigious society, doctors like to cover themselves by ordering unnecessary tests. Ask what each test is for and if it is absolutely necessary. I learned to do this because my insurance didn't pay for blood tests. I saved several hundred dollars on tests that the doctor admitted he was ordering "just to be on the safe side." I asked that we do the necessary tests first and go on to others only if necessary.
Ask How Qualified Your Doctor is to Diagnose and Treat Your Illness
I once asked a doctor who swore I did not have lupus how many patients he had actually diagnosed and treated for lupus. He had to admit that he believed lupus was over-diagnosed, and would rather treat the symptoms I presented. I asked if he had a colleague he could recommend who actually did believe lupus existed and was willing to try to diagnose it. He referred me to a doctor who listened, gave me the proper tests, and diagnosed me within a month. Not every doctor is experienced and qualified to treat every condition. Not wanting to lose a patient, some will simply treat your symptoms while you get sicker from improper or incomplete treatment. Don't be afraid to seek a second opinion.
Beware the "God Complex"
Unfortunately, some doctors may think you are trying to do their job for them, and get angry if you question their diagnosis or treatment. I've had a doctor tell me rudely that he did not have time to answer my questions about a suspicious pap smear. One insisted on prescribing medication I had experienced negative side effects from previously. He finally slammed down his clipboard and yelled at me to leave if I was not willing to do what he wanted. If you run into a doctor like that, simply leave and find another doctor. You won't be able to get past that ego to a decent treatment protocol.
Be polite but persistent in your quest for communication with your doctor. You may have to go through several doctors before you find one who listens and will work with you, not against you. Although it may be a long and frustrating search, finding the right physician is one of the most satisfying experiences you will ever have.
References:
Talking With Your Doctor: A Guide for Older People
Differing Communication Styles Between Doctors and Women Patients
Medline Plus: Talking With Your Doctor
U.S. News: How to Get Your Doctor to Translate the Medical Speak
Take Another Adult With You
Like most of us, doctors tend to be on their best behavior with a witness in the room. Ask to record the visit and see what the reaction is.
Do Your Homework
There are volumes of information online on symptoms and diseases, but be prudent. Don't go in with a list of 20 possible diseases. Consider other related factors or other causes for your symptoms. For example, if you have gastric reflux, consider your eating habits and stress levels. Presenting your symptoms and lifestyle in clear terms is important for a proper diagnosis.
Write Everything Down and Take It With You
Showing your doctor that you have done your research and that you are trying to help him by providing all the needed information will go a long way toward being heard. Write down a list of symptoms and possible causes. Know which questions to ask and be prepared to take notes on the answers your doctor gives. Create a pill card that tells your doctor which medications you are currently taking, even over-the-counter drugs and supplements.
Use Medical Terms
Doctors are often not good at speaking in layman's terms, so learn the medical names and terminology so you can ask intelligent questions and present your best case. If you don't understand something your doctor says, don't be afraid to ask him to clarify or define.
Ask Questions About Possibly Unnecessary Tests
In this litigious society, doctors like to cover themselves by ordering unnecessary tests. Ask what each test is for and if it is absolutely necessary. I learned to do this because my insurance didn't pay for blood tests. I saved several hundred dollars on tests that the doctor admitted he was ordering "just to be on the safe side." I asked that we do the necessary tests first and go on to others only if necessary.
Ask How Qualified Your Doctor is to Diagnose and Treat Your Illness
I once asked a doctor who swore I did not have lupus how many patients he had actually diagnosed and treated for lupus. He had to admit that he believed lupus was over-diagnosed, and would rather treat the symptoms I presented. I asked if he had a colleague he could recommend who actually did believe lupus existed and was willing to try to diagnose it. He referred me to a doctor who listened, gave me the proper tests, and diagnosed me within a month. Not every doctor is experienced and qualified to treat every condition. Not wanting to lose a patient, some will simply treat your symptoms while you get sicker from improper or incomplete treatment. Don't be afraid to seek a second opinion.
Beware the "God Complex"
Unfortunately, some doctors may think you are trying to do their job for them, and get angry if you question their diagnosis or treatment. I've had a doctor tell me rudely that he did not have time to answer my questions about a suspicious pap smear. One insisted on prescribing medication I had experienced negative side effects from previously. He finally slammed down his clipboard and yelled at me to leave if I was not willing to do what he wanted. If you run into a doctor like that, simply leave and find another doctor. You won't be able to get past that ego to a decent treatment protocol.
Be polite but persistent in your quest for communication with your doctor. You may have to go through several doctors before you find one who listens and will work with you, not against you. Although it may be a long and frustrating search, finding the right physician is one of the most satisfying experiences you will ever have.
References:
Talking With Your Doctor: A Guide for Older People
Differing Communication Styles Between Doctors and Women Patients
Medline Plus: Talking With Your Doctor
U.S. News: How to Get Your Doctor to Translate the Medical Speak
DISCLOSURE OF MATERIAL CONNECTION:
The Contributor has no connection to nor was paid by the brand or product described in this content.
The Contributor has no connection to nor was paid by the brand or product described in this content.
Published by Deborah Aldridge - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle
Deborah is a Southern woman, who, like all Southern women, loves to share. When she was 30, she took her love of gardening back to school and earned an associate degree in Horticulture/Greenhouse Production.... View profile
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