How Women Train Their Men to Lie
How to Promote Honesty in Relationships
I probed, asked him were my choices for meat and vegetables bad choices. His response was he just wanted to know what else I would be serving.
I was so determined to get to the bottom of what he really wanted to say. You know how some men have the gift of flattery? Their girl can weigh 300 pounds and when she asks him how she looks in a bikini he says, "baby you look good," they are so believable. My husband isn't one of those guys. When his answer is one he thinks might hurt my feelings, he'll try to sidestep the question, as he was doing at that time.
It was then that I realized many women tell their men that they want them to be honest with them. We get upset if we feel he's lied to us. The other side of the coin is when he is honest with us, and it is something we don't want to hear, many times we get upset.
What's a guy to do?
The truth is, most of us can't always handle the truth. If my husband had been honest, he would have said, "I asked what else you are serving because lately, your side dishes stink. You don't eat starchy sides. So for dinner you throw together some soupy mashed potatoes from a box. You don't even taste them when you cook them. But you expect me to eat them." That, my friend, would have hurt. But it would have been the truth.
We discussed this honesty thing in depth shortly afterwards and came to a conclusion. Wives or girlfriends are guilty of training their men to be dishonest. To lie. Think about our premise. If he knows that she is sensitive, or easily offended, is he going to tell her what he thinks of her dress while she adorns that largely patterned hibiscus outfit? Please don't let him say anything negative about what she feels strongly about. He may have tried being honest once, maybe twice. But let's face it; after hurting her feelings and being the object of her wrath for the next . ..oh. . .month or two, he's going to think twice about being completely honest with her ever again. He will go along with what she says, whether he agrees or not. He will share his frustration with his buddy, because then he won't have to sleep on the couch for a week.
The solution to this dilemma could be in realizing who you are dealing with. Some men are condescending by nature. Others are not, and when they say something critical about your hairdo, they're not trying to put you down. If you know that your man loves you and he wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt you, then it would be wise to grow some thicker skin. so that when you say, "you can be honest with me," he'll know you mean it. He can tell you what he feels without fear of reprisal. Because that couch is uncomfortable.
Published by J.E. Ward
Writing has been my passion since I was six when I published my first picture book. In fifth grade, I wrote a play about my class, and my best friend showed it to everybody when I told her not to. My best fr... View profile
- Communication in RelationshipsWithout communication, a relationship is destined to fail. It is important that both parties are able to effectively communicate their thoughts. Too often, couples tend to feel like their partner should automatically...
- The Power of Non-verbal Communication in RelationshipsWhat is a relationship without communication? It is similar to trying to swim without water. What is a relationship without non-verbal communication?
- Emotional Intelligence and Interpersonal Communication in Relationships, Family an...Emotional intelligence is a new concept that was popularized in the 1990's; being voted one of the most useful terms of the nineties by the American Dialect Society and has been used in many different areas of study.
- Honesty in Relationships: Accountability and TrustQuite simply, fellowship is the cornerstone of spiritual growth. Christ built a church on earth so that those who follow him might join together and act as a body of believers.
Communication in Relationships: Happiness as a Way of LifeWe all seek it. We all crave it. But really, what does it take to attain it? If you want to know the secret to ultimate contentment, read on.
- The Importance of Truth and Honesty in a Relationship
- It's About Honesty Stupid!
- Why David Petraeus Didn't Give an Honest Answer When Asked if the War in Iraq was...
- Communication in Relationships
- Exploring Communication in Relationships
- How to Improve Communication in a Relationship
- The Importance of Communication in Relationships
7 Comments
Post a CommentVincent, telling the truth is better. We whine, but we get over it. Maybe I should change the title to "Women who train their men to tell untruths." Because many husbands who love their spouses don't try to intentionally deceive or harm.
The definition of a lie is: An untruth told to a person entitled to know the truth with the intent of deceiving or harming another. How the husband responds decides whether it is merely an untruth or a lie. Still, best to err on the side of telling the truth...
lol, yes I think it has a lot to do with how they naturally choose to handle confrontation.
cont...You kno...w how some men have the gift of flattery?" I say...you were offended or taken back ...that is why you probed! He attempted to add a paint stroke to your canvas! You asked were your choices ..bad choices! So you got to the bottom of it! I say ..you ready for this Jane...how bout it ladies...her goes! Ready?The question is not if you trained men to lie, but have I not trained you better not to ask or question my choice in what I am bringing to YOU!
cont.. good enough. A kithen is her canvas place to do her thing...she needs no help in painting her dish. So yes..we are trained, but not to lie!When she is in the closet...her man should realize he is her human mirror! You reflect all sides of her. In the car...she put them shades...her man should just smile! No words, just smile! She going to ask what you smiling at! Her man shoul...d say..what I can't look..thats all she needs! In the super market...Just drop back a few steps behind her and say" Dang gurl"! All she needs! Whateva her territory! Appreciate her canvas she has painted. My wife grown! Am I trained...Yes! Proudly! To Lie...."NO"! Don't have too! My wife grown....she deserve the truth about what she been painting in her life!Jane stated...."I probed, asked him were my choices for meat and vegetables bad choices. His response was he just wanted to know what else I would be serving. I was so determined to get to the bottom of what he really wanted to say. You kno...w how s
What's a guy to do? Wow! Married for almost 17 years; i have been taught by my wife to consider her heart and feelings. It took time to discover what she is really after when she questions her own options or trying out different opinions. S...he knows what she's doing! Have I been trained to lie....honestly 'no'! I have been taught to listen to her questions, which is basically my woman's heartbeat about her life. If I hestitate to answer, I am scanning years of memory from her life canvas to answer her. When a woman asks 'am i fat' or is this to tight, she know the answer. It's best for a husband to answer with his hands and not with words. (You asked)! Grow Folk talk.A woman has territory! Her life is a canvas! She seeks constant approval from her man, in her territory! Kitchen is a place of territory...I have learned to stay away and not enter, while she cooks. Afterwards, I may assist her in cleaning, to show my appreciation for such a fine meal. Saying that was good baby is not go
I definitely agree that women, people in general for that matter, should grow a thicker skin. But also, people need to learn how to say things. I'm 100% for honest communication, but HOW you say something that makes a big difference in whether it's received negatively, positively, or neutrally.