How to Write a Guaranteed Blockbuster Movie Script

I signed up for Script Frenzy 2008. The challenge is to write a 100 page script in 30 days, starting April 1st. I'm going to write a guaranteed blockbuster movie script. This is just the thing I need to get me going financially. I know that the story I've come up with will rake in a fortune. Want to know how I'm going to do it? Here is the outline for my goldmine blockbuster movie script.

First I studied demographics. The adolescent male audience makes or breaks a blockbuster movie. To get the teenage boys into the theater you need some pyrotechnics. In my script Bumblebee, the giant transformer robot, is going to fight the Cloverfield monster. This provides lots of high-tech action, chases and explosions. The giant robot and indestructible monster will totally level New York City. Manhattan doesn't stand a chance. How exciting is that?

What, you say lots of monsters and disasters have destroyed New York and this is nothing new? That's OK. I'm selling this blockbuster movie script as a "reimagining" of those good old Godzilla vs. the monster of the week movies. Franchise sequels and remakes are always popular. Look at "Alien vs. Predator" and "Freddy vs. Jason". In 2007 Hollywood gave us "I am Legend", a remake of "The Omega Man" (1971) and "The Invasion", the second remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (1956). Why come up with a new idea when there's a perfectly great old one to be had.

There will be no women in this movie because, as Hollywood knows, any movie with a woman as the main character has no chance of bringing in a big box office take. So get rid of all the actresses if you want guaranteed blockbuster movies every time. Hollywood doesn't need women's money anyway, because they know men make the real bucks and decide what movies to go to.

To further gratify the men, there will be lots of locker-room, gross-out humor. This script will have more jokes about genitalia than all three Austin Powers movies put together. To add this kind of comedy to the first concept will require a twist. The fight over New York is really a stormy first date. At the end of the evening the giant robot and the monster hook up for a one-night fling. This results in an unplanned pregnancy. In the third act of the film the couple forges an awkward romance with lots of bawdy body humor. Sure this was just done in Judd Apatow's "Knocked Up", but I prefer to think of it as an homage to the classic 1963 film with Natalie Wood and Steve McQueen, "Love with the Proper Stranger". That reference adds an air of class and quality.

It's simple, really. There aren't too many elements and you don't have to wrack your brain to be creative. That's why I'm not worried about anyone stealing my ideas for a blockbuster movie script. It's all about recycling. Who says Hollywood doesn't care? We just had the first green Oscar awards this year! These are the rules for writing a guaranteed blockbuster movie script. Follow them carefully and you can write your own ticket to the Oscars.