How to Write an Interesting Obituary

When I was in my late 20's I started reading the obituary section of newspapers. It became an obsession. While my husband would grab the front section, or the metro for the letters to the editor, I would go straight to the obituaries to see who had died and what their families had to say about them. Over the years, I began to notice a few things about this custom of summing up a life in a few column inches. One was obvious-some people live a long time and other lives are cut short, sometimes unexpectedly. Another thing I learned is that obituaries can be very interesting if they are well written. So, how do you do it? How do you write an obituary that is as lively as the person who passed away? Or even better yet, who says you can't write your own?

Start with the basics of who the person was. Where and when were they born? List a few significant moments of their lives-when they met their spouse, when children were born, what their occupation was. If you want to write a memorable obit, include some funny or off-the-wall things that made this person unique. My mom saved a stranger's obit for about 20 years because it was about this man who lived well into his 80's and he credited his longevity to his habit of going to bed with a jellybean that he would slowly enjoy as he fell asleep. I've torn out obituaries that were of local people who had lived through historical events and played small parts in making things happen. When a stranger saves your obituary and you are not famous, I think that really says something about who you were.

What did the person consider to be important in life? How did they define themselves? This is your chance to tell the rest of the world that Aunt Joy thought that being the kind of mother who cooked meals from scratch and was the "room mother" at the elementary school, was exactly the person she most wanted to be. Which brings me to another point. There is a fine line between sentimentality and an ode to a martyr. Be truthful. You don't need to air dirty laundry in an obituary, but keep it real.

Summing up an obit is as simple as telling how the person died (we especially want to know if something different, or odd happened to them), and including information about funeral arrangements and donations or memorials.

I think what continues to draw me to the obituary section is that these little columns are as unique and varied as the people around us. James Barron Hope said that, "Tis after death that we measure men." This is where writing your own obituary can be satisfying. You can have the last word!