How to Write a Love Letter

Sue Smith
In her concise and entertaining book, For the Love of Letters: A 21st-Century Guide to the Art of Letter Writing, Samara O'Shea tells us there is no formula for love letters. She then generously offers the following suggestions (and more) that can ease this otherwise often-daunting task:

Get right to the point.
Start with one quick sentence (e.g., "There is something I simply must tell you.")

Bring on the adjectives.
If you first list some things you love about the recipient of your letter, you will have plenty of descriptive words to "wrap a few sentences around."

Disguise your letter.
If you're shy about expressing your love, express your gratitude which will undoubtedly be well received.

Ask questions.
O'Shea finds clever rhetorical questions an easy way to flatter your lover - or your mother. (Example: "Could you be any sweeter?")

Fake 'em out.
For instance a sentence that begins "You, for some reason, find it necessary to distract me from work..." can be followed by the complimentary "Thank you for doing that!" or simply "I love that about you."

Counteract the cliches.
Instead of "I love your smile," try "Your smile is my favorite distraction..."

Both your salutation and sign-off can be as creative as your imagination allows.
"Dear Joe" can be just as nice as "To my dearest." Similarly, "With love" might be equally as well received as "Dying to see you again." It merely depends on to whom you are writing and what the two of you are like.

Have fun.
No one is in trouble here; it's all good.

Many of us have written loving notes to our children, friends and parents. But Valentine's Day is right around the corner and gifting an erotic letter to a sweetheart or spouse often sows the seeds of the most pleasant rewards. In For the Love of Letters,

O'Shea provides a racy example of just such a letter. (Consider yourself forewarned here; I do mean racy.) Writing an erotic letter yourself is easier than you think when you follow O'Shea's guidelines:
Be specific. What do you want your lover to know? How do you feel about him or her, and what do you want to do about it?

Appeal to all the five senses. Use words that convey pleasant sounds and smells. Entice your lover's hunger with tasteful words, and make it look appealing. Explain how it feels...

Sign off appropriately. O'Shea likes Restlessly, and Achingly or Aching to see you sound equally erotic. However, a simple Thinking of you always works if you just can't cross that line.

Only use email if you are recreating the previous day/night and want to send it immediately -- but NEVER to a business email account!

O'Shea admits to "lean[ing] toward mixing sweet analogies with inappropriate ones (for example, "You are stately as a palm tree....and your breasts are like its clusters..." Song of Solomon) but advises that only you know what is appropriate for your lover. Maybe that means pornography, but maybe it means Keats or Browning -- and you don't want to get that wrong!

If all else fails, for a reasonable fee O'Shea will write a love letter - or any other kind - for you via her website, LetterLover.net. But I suggest first trying the tips in her book, For the Love of Letters: A 21st-Century Guide to the Art of Letter Writing,which is full of wonderful anecdotes that are sure to get your creative juices jumping and which, incidentally, makes a nice Valentine's Day gift itself.

Buy the book at Amazon.com.

Order a customized love letter.

Read Samara O'Shea's blog at The Huffington Post.

  • It's easier than you think to write a love letter.
  • Here's how to write a love letter to your sweetheart - or your mom.
  • Did you know you can order a customized lover letter?
Only you know what is appropriate language to use when writing a love letter to your significant other. Maybe it's something racy, but maybe it's Keats or Browning -- and you don't want to get that wrong!

8 Comments

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  • Abby Willow11/6/2010

    My poor fiance gets novel-length love letters from me all the time, complete with chapstick smeared kisses all over it! He keeps them in his lunch box to read over and over when he is away on the rig. he also writes me surprise sticky note love letters and hides them all over the house, and notes in toothpaste on the mirror expressing his adoration. We're kinda cheesy that way

  • Brandy Madison11/1/2010

    Fun article! ..."If you just can't cross that line", lol! Good job!

  • Maria Merlino3/25/2010

    I love writing love letters to my doggy! She can't read but likes to chew them up!

  • Julia Beirut11/9/2009

    Great tips! Love letters are always my favorite gift!

  • Bridgitte Williams10/23/2009

    LOL! :-) Enjoyed. And adding "yours, always, longingly and forever" helps...hehe.
    Nice work.

  • Sophie S10/14/2009

    These are good tips. I used to write a lot of love letters to my husband, but I haven't done so in a while, apart from love e-mails (do they count?) I need to sort that out!
    Sophie

  • Debi Rideout5/27/2009

    Good article. =) It is always nice to write a love letter to those you love. =)

  • Gretchen Lee Bourquin2/20/2009

    great review and suggestions

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