How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

You have planned your wedding colors, picked out your dress, chosen a venue and selected your flowers. From your dinner entrée to your wedding cake, you have tried to create a unique and special ambiance for your special day that you will remember for a lifetime. So why settle for a cookie-cutter ceremony? Write your own vows to each other.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Avoid Forms and Pre-Written Vows

When my husband and I got married, we spent hours pouring over every detail of our wedding ceremony. We each selected our favorite verse as inspiration for our invitations. We chose our favorite poems and Bible verses for the readings during our ceremony. We even decided on a rose ceremony rather than the more common unity candle ceremony. We wanted everything to be perfect. What we could not agree on were our vows. Finally, after much discussion, we decided that writing our own vows would be a special way to tell each other why we each wanted to get married and what we each promised the other for our future.

I suppose we could have gone to the internet and chosen some pre-written form to use for our vows, but to us that was not the purpose. We wanted to put real thought and reflection into what we each expected out of our marriage and about what we were each willing to put into our lives together. Besides, paying $9.99 for a pre-written vow lacks romance. Write your own vows, keep them simple, and avoid forms.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect

If you decide to write your own vows, don't put too much pressure on yourself or on your mate to make them perfect. Say what you feel in your heart, and put some thought into it. If you stumble over a word or two, or if the grammar is not perfect, no one will remember it. What they will remember is that you were sincere and in love, which is more important than perfection.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Have a Beginning, a Middle, and an End

When you are writing your wedding vows, try to keep them in a logical order. Like your English teacher used to say, have a beginning, a middle, and an end. An easy way to write your vows is to start at the beginning - when you both met. What did you think of your mate then? Was it love at first sight, or did you barely notice each other?

Then you might want to talk about your courtship. What were your favorite things to do together? Did you bond watching football together, or do you both like the symphony? What things did you like over your mate? How did you decide that your mate was the person you want to marry?

Finally, consider what you want your future to be like. Are there promises that you intend to make, like always being faithful and honest? Do you promise to be a good parent, a diligent provider, and a supportive listener? Will you always take out the garbage when she asks you do and do the dishes when he is tired? Regardless of whether you decide to take a chronological approach to your vows or not, consider including these elements into your vows.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Write Them from Your Heart

No matter what you decide to include in your vows, write your vows from your heart. You may not be a poet or a speechwriter, but you know how you feel about your husband or wife to be. Now is the perfect time to tell him or her what you have always wanted to say but have never really put into words.