How to Write a Paper in Grad School

Step 1. Wait until Wednesday night, when Class starts on Thursday night.

Step 2. Pat yourself on the back because you started a day early this time, instead of the day of class and that clearly means you are becoming more organized and more responsible.

Step 3. Search computer for that article you saved on your hard drive, and run across pictures on your computer.

Step 4. Waste some time looking at all those pictures thinking "hey I remember that year of Mud volleyball.. yeah college was great.. I mean undergrad at least."

Step 5. Check email

Step 6. Check Myspace

Step 7. Refresh Myspace

Step 8. Check My family

Step 9.Open new blank document in Microsoft Word and tell yourself that now the page is open and that means you've officially started your paper.

Step 10. Go back to watch a video on Myspace.

Step 11. Laugh at video and send to some friends.

Step 12. Find that dang research article.

Step 13. Dig through bag to find syllabus to get instructions to write article.

Step 14. Discover you also need to read for class tomorrow.. dang not as organized as you thought.

Step 15. Notice that article is really long.

Step 16. Check email

Step 17. check myspace again.. ha my friends did think that video was funny.

Step 18. Watch video friend sent back to you and laugh.

Step 19. Make note to show to husband later cause this is so true.

Step 20. Search for funny video to send back, because funny Internet video etiquette says you must.

Step 21. Read first page of Article

Step 22. Start cursing because you saved that article in PDF version, and it froze your computer.

Step 23. Start surfing TV shows while you wait on your computer to reload.

Step 24. Get sucked in to watching the Real World for 30 Min's.

Step 25. Curse again because you just wasted more time and forgot about your paper.

Step 26. Attempt to actually sit down and read full 13 page article.

Step 27. Curse again because its one of those articles that has two columns and you must scroll your mouse while you read one side, and scroll back up to start column two.

Step 28. check video friend sent back and laugh pretty hard. Notice that its joeyanddavid.com, a pretty funny group of guys.

Step 29. Immediately go to joey and david's website.

Step 30. Laugh

Step 31. Dang you forgot about your paper again

Step 32. send another video back to friend

Step 33. Force yourself to return to paper... tell yourself you will write at least 2 paragraphs.

Step 34. Husband says he's hungry and you agree to take a break from your hours of paper writing to get Taco Bell.

Step 35. Tell yourself you will just write the paper in the morning, because American Idol is coming on.

Step 36. Tell yourself that Grad School is hard.