How to Write the Perfect Thank You Letter

Dear Associated Content reader: Thank you for reading this article (or for stumbling upon it by accident because you haven't quite managed to peel both eyes open yet this morning). We'll probably never meet, but your interest in and/or comments about something I've written is the best compliment I've ever received. I feel like a five-year-old on Christmas morning when I see how many people want to know how to make the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich, write a thank you letter or make other people think they're smart (or, strangely enough, dumb). I hope you'll find something you can use in this article too, and I hope you'll come back to Associated Content often, maybe even as a content producer yourself.

Sincerely, Linda Galok

Why do we want to thank people for the exceptional things they have given us, done for us or said to us? Because these things mean they paid attention to and cared about us. They put some time, thought and effort into something just for us. They gave us something, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. So the thank you letter we write to them requires that same level of time, thought, effort and attention. They made us feel important and we are merely returning the favor.

The best thank you letters are not social obligations, they are not the ones your mother made you write, and they're not boring, thoughtless or emotionless. They contain something of you, they come from the heart, and they are sincere expressions of appreciation for something someone gave you or did for you. Thank you letters are a gift, and you, too, can write one.

Rule number one: Don't complicate it. Gratefulness is simple. And, in spite of any prior experiences you may have had, writing a thank you letter can be too. It costs almost nothing and, like a smile, it makes both the "thankee" and the "thanker" feel good.

Expressing gratitude sincerely isn't easy for everyone, of course, especially when they have to do it in writing. Don't be intimidated. The secret to writing thank you letters people will treasure for years to come has nothing to do with their length, originality or even neatness (although those do count too), but with the ability to express your unique emotional reaction to the gift you were given.

Your thank you letter writing map:

Who are you thanking?

Whether it's your grandmother, your best friend, a store clerk doing a good job, a neighbor practicing a random act of kindness, or someone just being their usual good-hearted, unnoticed self, find out something about them. Maybe they love the color purple or they're diehard NASCAR fans - use purple ink or a checkered flag for their thank you letter. If they often compliment your perfume, spray a dab on your note. Make your own notepaper with a photo or clip art of something that interests them. And, handwritten is best, but if your handwriting is really atrocious, use a nice clear font and your printer.

What, exactly, are you thanking them for? Be specific and include plenty of detail. "Thanks for taking me to the concert last week" isn't nearly as thankful as "That Nickelback concert you took me to last Friday was so great, my ears are still ringing, and I think I've played Burn it to the Ground 187 times because it brings back that amazing feeling I had when we danced on the stage together."

What made the gift so special you felt compelled to write a thank you letter?

"I was at the end of my rope with the kids that day and if one more thing cried, threw up or broke down, I was going to crawl out the front door and keep going until I made it to the asylum. Then you called and made me laugh, and I could keep being normal for one more day."

Remember, it isn't really the gift itself you are expressing thanks for, but how it made you feel about the situation, yourself, or the gift giver. How did their thoughtfulness make you feel? Did it make your day or your life better? How? Did it make you cry? Laugh? Remember something important about a long-lost relative or a past event?

"Thanks so much for encouraging me to keep studying and retake the exam. When I picked up my pencil for the third try, I know I passed because I had your words running through my mind, cheering me on and believing in me. Thanks to you, I can fulfill my grandfather's dream and become a brain surgeon."

There are, of course, some common thank you mistakes to be avoided.

The Gratitude Groper - Just like the bad kisser who ends up poking us in the eye with his nose, these thankers don't have a map. It's important to know what you want to say, how to say it, and, once you've reached the end, how to stop.

The Gratitude Gushers - if it makes you gag, your thankee will probably have the same reaction.

The Stilted Stiff - It's yours so it should sound like you. Don't overuse your thesaurus. If you would normally say "thanks a lot," don't say, "I'm overwhelmed with gratitude." If you can't pronounce or define a word, don't use it in your letter.

The Appreciation Attackers!!!!! The exclamation point peppered pages are the punctual equivalent of shrieking at your thankee. Thankfulness is calm and quiet, like an important secret. You can use one exclamation point, if you absolutely have to. But if you're using punctuation, instead of words, to convey your message, you're using the wrong words.

The Beholden Postponers - It shouldn't take you six months to send a thank you note. If you're putting it off because you hate to write, you're intimidated, or you're just lazy, remember two lines two days later are better than two pages two months later. The longer you wait, the more you'll have to write and the less you'll be able to remember. Even though it's never too late to say thank you, doing it quickly will allow you to more easily capture the feelings you're trying to express.

Whatever you write, make it special. Use good quality note paper, handwrite it, bring it to the post office and drop it in that little blue box. They're worth it.

Last, but not least, make it personal. This is probably one of the more intimate pieces of writing you'll ever do. Include something of your unique self in your thank you letter. It's perfectly okay to use humor or spiritual references if those things are part of your personality. If you're artistic, and truly hate the idea of writing anything, send a drawing or a photograph of the experience or yourself using the gift and write a simple, "Thanks so much," with a calligraphy pen.

If you're still having trouble with your thank you letters, visit our webpage at www.writers4rent and click on our March special or go to our blog at http://writers4rent.blogspot.com/ to view sample thank you letters. And thank you for reading all the way to the end.