How to Write the Perfect Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows is a long process that requires a lot of work and attention, and many couples don't even know where to start. Here are some tips and instructions on how to work through the process of writing the perfect wedding vows.

Why to Write Your Own Wedding Vows
Before digging into the question of how to write your wedding vows, it is first important to think about why you would want to write your vows in the first place. This article contains a more complete answer to the question, but in short, it is the best way to make sure that you actually mean what you are saying on your wedding day. If you write your vows, you will have deliberately thought about each element in them, and your heart will be more fully invested in the words you say than if they were the standard wedding vows.

Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Work Together
It is incredibly important if you are writing your own wedding vows that you and your fiance work together during the process. You do not need to do every single step together, but it is essential that you both have a say in what ends up in your wedding vows. Some couples choose to keep their vows a secret when they are writing their own, and that is up to you, but it is advisable that you at least have an idea of what you want the vows to say in order for them to be meaningful and to touch on all the important elements of vows.

Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Examine Other Wedding Vows
One important step before writing your vows is to look at some examples of wedding vows. This will allow you to see what elements are commonly included, what you like about them, and what you don't like. That way, if you want to model elements of the vows you write after traditional wedding vows, you can do that, while changing other elements to fit what you would rather say.

Write Your Own Wedding Vows: List Important Elements
The next step in writing your wedding vows is to make a list of what you want the vows to contain. Do you want to mention God in your vows or include Scripture? Do you want to have specific words such as "vow", "covenant", and "promise" in your vows? Is it important to you that it be clear that the vow will last as long as you both live? Are there any special things in your relationship that you want to promise in your vows?

Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Draft and Revise
Once you know what elements you want and have some ideas about the style of the vows, you can sit down and make a draft of your vows. After each draft, wait a day before coming back to it and revising it to reflect any other things that you want to include or clarify. It is also a good idea to go over your vows with the minister who is officiating at your ceremony to make sure that they are acceptable as a marriage covenant at a wedding he is officiating. When you have a final copy, you can then either print or memorize your vows for the wedding ceremony!