How to Write Thank You Notes for Weddings and Showers

Aren't girlfriend's great when they throw a lavish baby shower AND give you with the hottest, hard-to-find designer diaper bag? Weren't you touched when your sister who just had a baby still flew out with her family to attend your wedding? And didn't you cry when your grandma sent a photo of your mom at age1 for your daughter's first birthday? More often than not, family and friends are amazingly generous and thoughtful - so amazing that a personally penned THANK YOU note is the least you can do.

Of course, you'll also experience the time when your ex-roommate gave you a bottle of wine like the one you used to have in your collection. Or the time your cousin told you that he "forgot" to sign the card and "whatever" his parents gave is also from him. No matter - even such gifts become storytelling gems and should be acknowledged with a written note.

Ironically, this essential and all-important task should be completed when time is short and you are at your busiest either planning a wedding or settling into a new life with your new husband and/or baby. For obvious reasons, thank you notes can be daunting, time-consuming and on-going:

• For events like weddings and birth announcements, you could potentially be thanking hundreds of people
• For baby and bridal showers, you could potentially have more than one thrown in your honor by close friends, family members, or co-workers
• For events like weddings and showers, gifts and kind acts could potentially trickle in by mail or visits over several months before and after the event.

While it's tempting to speed through this task using streamlined notes that are pre-printed or contain quick one-liners ("Thanks for the steak knives. Love, Anna"), such notes should never be sent out. Remember, people who are important to you have taken the time and effort to honor you and thanking them should similarly reflect your time and effort. So here are a few tips on how to streamline the task of sending out personalized thank you notes without stripping the sincerity out of the note itself.

Address Thank You Cards When You Address Invitations or Announcements

This saves lots of time especially with guest lists numbering in the hundreds. Buy or order your Thank-You note cards the same time you do your invitations. Since you already have the addresses and the postage on hand, you (and your crew of volunteers) will need to do this time-consuming task only once. Whether you're handwriting the addresses or printing out labels, complete an additional set of envelopes for the thank you card.

If you send out 200 invitations, you should have 200 thank you cards addressed, too. Don't be concerned about "wasting" note cards for those who don't attend the event. Those who can't make the actual event may still mail or drop-off a gift. Friends who couldn't attend my baby shower will probably visit and drop-off their gifts after the delivery or invited guests who can't attend the wedding may mail their wedding gift. Store these pre-addressed thank you cards in alphabetical order. After the event, you can focus on the task of writing the content of your note rather than the time-consuming task of addressing thank you cards.

Make it a Shower Game

If you're hosting an event such as a bridal or baby shower, a really helpful and fun thing to do at the party is to make it a shower game to help the Bride or Mom-to-Be. As hostess, buy thank you cards ahead of time and have everyone write their name and address on the envelope. Do a drawing from the envelopes and that person gets a prize, while the mom gets the thank you cards. This is really nice, especially since guests know how little time there is after the wedding or when the baby comes! Even better is having this idea catch on with your group of friends - it can readily done for each other.

Create and Use Templates to Kick-Start the Writing Process

Thank you notes should be personally handwritten. While signed pre-printed cards or one-liner notes should never be sent, remember these are "notes", so don't feel like you have to write individual letters to everyone. The tough part is coming up with a couple sentences that convey warmth and sincerity. And if you're like most people, the hard part is getting started. Remember, your thank you notes don't have to be unique in order to be sincere. Once you get the hang of writing a few notes that are sincere and reflect your style and personality, writing the rest of the thank you notes is cake. Creating and using templates for various types of situations is the trick to helping you get started. Sources for inspiration can come from thank you notes that you received yourself and truly appreciated. Or take some time to peruse the greeting card aisle and read through some of the thank you cards. Magazine articles on how-to write thank-you notes can also been clipped and saved.

Use templates with suggested wording ideas when writing:

• To a close friend or relative - "…I was touched by your thoughtful gift. You know me so well!"
• To a person who had made an extraordinary effort to attend your event - "Also, Darren and I were so thrilled that you were able to come to California for the wedding."
• To a person you don't know very well - "…My parents were excited you were able to attend our wedding and Darren and I were happy to finally meet you."
• For a gift not really cared for - "…Thank you so much for the froggie jumpsuit. Green has always been my favorite color."
• For monetary gifts - "Thank you for your generous gift…we've been saving for a down payment on a new house (starting a college fund)."

When creating your templates, some general do's to keep in mind is to mention the gift in the note, let the person know that you (and your groom or your baby) like the gift, and mention how you plan to use the gift or spend the money.
To jog your brain and make writing your thank your notes easier, keep a list of verbs, adjectives, or opening/closing sentences on hand that you feel comfortable using which you can reference. You might, for example, list words to describe how you feel like thrilled, delighted, excited, touched, or moved. To describe the gift, create a list words like perfect, ideal, just right, beautiful, stunning and gorgeous.

Put Together a Thank You Card Station

You'll find that weeks before or after the event, people will send or drop-off gifts. You want to send a thank you card right away because the longer you put it off, the harder the task becomes. Create a thank you card station with the following.

1. Your Pre-Addressed Thank You Cards in alphabetical order
2. Blank Thank You Note Card
3. Stamps
4. Address Book
5. Your Return Address labels
6. Pens
7. Templates

The station can simply be a drawer in your desk or a shoebox. Having everything on hand will make the task of sending out thank you cards easier and will allow you to focus on what you want to write to the person. Once a gift arrives in the mail or is dropped off, use the gift card or the mailing label to jot down a quick description of the gift and place it in your Thank You Card station.

A Few Words of Advice

Remember you are thanking people who are important to you and who care enough about you to wish you the best in a very important life event. A personalized, handwritten note that thanks them with warmth and sincerity is the least you can do and will always be appreciated.

Give the same thought and priority to thank you cards that you give to other aspects of your event such as your invitations and the menu. A little bit of planning and effort on the front end will make the time-consuming task of thank you cards easier for you to do it in a timely fashion and will allow you to send notes filled with appreciation and meaning.