How to Write Your Wedding Vows

Writing your own vows is the perfect way to make your ceremony even more personal. It can also be frustrating trying to decide what to say.

Decide as early as possible if you want to write your vows or not. It really needs to be one of the first decisions you make as a couple. The two of you need to agree on it so it isn't seen as a chore or pain.

Next, decide what you are going to talk about in your vows. Do you want to talk about things you've done together? About your future? Or just about how you feel? You may even want to do a combination.

Spend some quiet time thinking and start writing down any and every idea you have. It doesn't have to all go together, you're just trying to get the ideas onto paper. You can always cut and add things later.

Begin organizing your ideas so that they have a flow to them. The natural progression would be to talk about things you've done, how you feel at this moment and then any pledge you want to make for the future. Of course, it depends on what you want.

Repeat the vows out loud. Things written down have a habit of sounding a lot different when you start saying them aloud. You also want to see how long it takes you to say it, try to keep it under 15 minutes.

Find someone who will objectively listen to you say your vows. You want it to be a person who will tell you if something sounds awkward or just isn't working.

Put away your vows for a few days and concentrate on other things. You don't want to force them. Things are always a bit clearer when you walk away and come back.

Read what you have written and make sure you're happy with them. If you need to, scrap them and start over. Just remember that the only one who has to be happy with them is you.

Once you have the vows ready for the ceremony, repeat them over and over. You will be nervous on your wedding day, memorizing as much as you can will help.

If you think you might fall to pieces at the altar, it's perfectly all right to have your vows written down on index cards. It will help keep you on track and get your bearings if you slip.

Your vows are exactly that, yours. They can be as emotional ridden as you want or you can add a bit of humor to them, it's your choice. Just try not to get too stressed over them and let them just come from your heart.