How to Write Your Wedding Vows Part One

You and your soon-to-be spouse have decided to exchange your own wedding vows. You may not know where to begin or how to even express your feelings in words. A search of the Internet offers a wide variety of tips, steps and ideas for writing your wedding vows, but still you're stuck. You simply don't know where to begin. Here are a few brainstorming activities to give you an idea of where to start, what to include, and most importantly: staying true to yourself. This isn't about writing your vows, yet, merely about finding the ideas and basis of what good vows will include. Part Two will cover putting the ideas here together into memorable vows.

So, get out a piece of paper and open your mind. Let any ideas, thoughts, words or phrases out onto the paper. We're just brainstorming, so don't censor yourself. Sometimes the best ideas come when we're just letting it all out onto paper.

1. Anecdotes. Did you and your future spouse meet in an unusual way? Is there a story about your relationship you both find telling to friends? Was the proposal over the top? Or was it perfectly normal-and that's what makes it so special to you. Find a story or event in your relationship that is a great example of what you hope your marriage will be. Don't be afraid to include what might seem mundane to other people. The vows are for you and your partner only. If you were touched by a night in front of the TV, use it. Anecdotes are a great way to use examples to sum up your feelings and your relationship. Write down any memorable event that you think could be worked into your vows. Keep in mind that your vows should not last for an hour! If the story is to work with your vows it should be possible to relate the anecdote in a few sentences or minutes.

2. Songs, Poems, or Literature That Has Meaning: Don't just randomly search through a poetry book until you find something you think fits your fiancée. Fancy words for the sake of fancy words are meaningless and generic. You want your spouse-to-be to feel special and one-of-a-kind on your wedding day. However, if there is a poem or lyric from a song or even something from books or movies that has specific meaning to you and your partner and your relationship, now is the time to list those options. However, you should only include something written by someone else if you and your partner have shared a particular moment or discussion about the words used. You should also be sure to brainstorm why you think that a certain poem might want to be included in your vows. Think about what you could say about the poem or song in regards to your partner, because that is going to be far more important than someone else's words.

3. Laughter: Are there any inside jokes you and your partner share? The vows are an excellent time to remind your partner of how much fun you have together and hope to have in the future. Whereas your vows should be full of love and meaning, don't be afraid to show some humor. The best relationships involve making each other laugh. On the flip side, don't stick a joke in there just for the heck of it. Think of any inside jokes or funny events that might express your feelings and relationship with a laugh. Make sure it is a positive laugh, something that shows your partner that they make you laugh in the best possible way.

4. Feelings: Feelings are the hardest things to put into words. However, as you're brainstorming, try to come up with certain words you want to include. Think about the things you say to each other everyday that are meaningful. Think of the little ways that you both express your love and rely on the words from those feelings. Don't search through a dictionary or thesaurus for words you wouldn't normally use. Your vows should reflect you: how you talk, how you feel, how you communicate. Express your feelings the best way you can while staying in your comfort zone. Your partner doesn't want someone else or someone else's vocabulary reciting your vows, they want you and your words.

You've brainstormed anecdotes, poetry, laughter and feelings. Continue to brainstorm until you are completely out of ideas. Let your feelings and ideas run out onto the paper (or computer screen) until you can't think of anything else. Once the brainstorming part is over, it's time to look at part two and see how to choose what to use and how to begin to put it together.