How-To Build the Perfect Man from Your Past Relationships

I know there's no such thing as perfect per say, however someone can be a perfect fit for you. I was thinking about all my past relationships, when the brilliant idea came to me, what if I could put the best part of each of them all together? I then realized I would have the perfect man for me! Isn't this a great idea for Halloween?

I don't think Dr, Frankenstein ever got arrested for building his perfect man, but then again I think he did end up getting killed. Oh well, nothing is perfect, except maybe the man we are about to build. Please know I am using my own personal experiences. for my perfect man for this example. Please feel free to make your own substitutions for your perfect man. Or, if need be, none of mine are around anymore, go ahead an use them with my blessings! All names have been changed to keep their egos intact. So, lets get started. *Please note this is only a facsimile and real body parts are not to be used!

Personality-

Well, if you're not a shallow person the personality must come first. I do believe most of the men I fell in love did have one. Unfortunately they seemed to change very drastically after I was clearly hooked. Well, now let me see, I was involved with Mr.Schmoozer, Mr. Adult Child, Mr. Hermit, Mr. Mysterious, and Mr. Sweet and Sassy. Well, I guess in the personality group the award for Mr. Congeniality would be..Mr. Sweet & Sassy, although he had problems just like all the rest. He would be the lesser of the evils. He definitely had the best personality to live a lifetime with, without the possibility of being murdered by me.

Physical Attributes-

Well, this is a harder one to call as except for one of them, they all had pretty hot bodies. Not that that was at all a factor in the falling in love part (liar). I do have a fondness for tall and slim men (don't forget the tight jeans). It's not my fault, I watched too many James Stewart and Gary Cooper movies when I was growing up. I would definitely have to say, I would want to use (literally).. Mr. Adult Child's body. Are you getting the idea on how to do this? Paper models are allowed.

Intelligence-

Wow, this is the hardest one. Okay so I have a tendency of not choosing bright men, sue me! Well, I believe the winner in the intelligence category has to be... Mr. Hermit. Although his intelligence was slightly effected by his drinking problem. Yes, this one was quite intelligent, and thank God, I was dating him when I was in my Astronomy class. Do you know how much Physics is included in Astronomy? Too much!

A Good Provider-

Well, considering they were all workaholics, this is a touchy one. Well. one was gone on the road way to often. We didn't have a relationship, we had visitation. One worked way to closely with criminals. It really started to affect his sense of right and wrong. I would definitely have to say the winner in this category would have to be...Mr, Sweet and Sassy. At least he came home every night, and could be easily persuaded (a girl does what she has to), to not work so hard all the time.

A Big Heart-

Note, in this category a larger animal's heart may not be substituted. Well, one thing I do choose right is men with big hearts. However, I know I must only choose one, as too many hearts would make for a slightly disfigured individual. Well, a few of them are definitely running neck and neck, but if I can only choose one I would have to say....Mr. Schmoozer. That choice is only out of default as it really was a very close call.

Okay, so now I have built the perfect man for me out of my past relationships. Yes, you too can build the perfect man designed just for you (order blue prints while still available). Come on take a chance and and you too can end up with A hard working, sweet and sassy, hot bodied, schmoozing hermit with a heart of gold just like I did. Hurry, this offer is for a limited time only! *Void where prohibited,

**NOW don't take this article too seriously, I only wrote it because there's was no alcohol in the house, and I really did have to get rid of my anxiety somehow!