H.R. 1955: The 'Center of Excellence' is Watching You

Guilty of every offense resident in its newspeakian lingo, radical extremist legislators have criminalized the eighty-nine per cent of Americans (based on an eleven per cent approval rating) who hate their guts. The wholesale assault on 'our freedoms' touted in this act of homegrown terror should be sufficient, I think, to secure swift convictions.

In H.R. 1984..er 55's opening salvo 'To prevent homegrown terrorism, and for other purposes' one need not stoop to the nightmarish ambiguity implicit past the comma in order to prove congressional collusion in ideologically-based violence, torture, kidnapping, consorting with known enemies of The United States and abetting a radicalized homegrown oligarchy.

In an open declaration of war on thuh internets: SEC. 899B. FINDINGS, 'the congress finds' `(3) The Internet has aided in facilitating violent radicalization, ideologically based violence, and the homegrown terrorism process in the United States by providing access to broad and constant streams of terrorist-related propaganda to United States citizens.

Who'o'oah Du'u'ude, that should have mainstream media operatives quaking in their blood-mired boots, but dig that crazy SEC. 899C, establishing the university-based 'Center of Excellence' (Fuzznuts Punk Thought Police for the Ministry of Rovian Truth) designated under section 899D, and 'other academic work', as appropriate;

'As appropriate' it is therefore incumbent upon alert citizens to turn these Young Republican pukes and congressional malefactors in to themselves. We must set them to 'other academic work', to relentless self-scrutiny, beginning with self-administered cavity checks in order to disclose the secret whereabouts of their ideologically-based heads.

As I predicted in 'Centigrade 451' rampant domestic spying has come to full flower with the call for firefighters, blog trolls, telecoms, Jehovah's Witnesses and rug shampooers to be on the lookout for signs of sedition such as mirth, literacy and access to the internet.

Rest assured that our brave new government has inadvertently stopped all would-be terrorists in their tracks because when it comes to undermining 'our freedoms' via homegrown satire who wouldn't despair of topping this? H.R1955