Humor Helps with Unemployment and the Boredom of Looking for a Job

Was it wise to market myself as an "Employee for Sale" on Ebay? Not sure, but it is a lot of fun. And it's eliminated some of the tedium of writing cover letters for my resume. "You will see by my attached resume that I'm well-suited for yada, yada, yada."

I'm bored. Recruiters are bored. It's time to shake things up. Here's 11 ways to make the process more interesting for you AND them:

1. Write your resume backwards so the recruiter can only read it in a mirror.
2. Attach pictures of your tattoos to your cover email
3. Attach pictures of your pet alligator.
4. Attach pictures of your pet alligator's tattoos
5. Start your email with: "I'm right behind you and you smell fantastic!"
6. Attach the crime scene photos about what happened to the last person who didn't hire you.
7. Use a different font for every word in your resume and cover letter giving it the look of a ransom note.
8. Type everything in pig Latin. "Ou-yay ill-way ee-say y-bay y-may attached-way esume-ray at-thay I-way am-way ell-way uited-say or-fay."
9. For your contact address put: United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility (ADX), aka:Supermax, Florence, CO, Attention: Solitary Confinement
10. Type in Morse code: ".-.. / ... . . / -... -.-- / -- -.-- / .- - - .- -.-. .... . -.. / .-. . ... ..- -- . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-" and attach the link for the translator: http://morsecode.scphillips.com/jtranslator.html
11. Mention your multiple personalities... "It's like getting four employees for the price of one!"