I Ain't Be Got No Weapon!

Most people are aware that it is wrong to categorize people on the basis of stereotype, and I am pretty sure that we all know what happens when we assume. Yet in spite of how many people know this, I am still surprised each and every time I encounter someone who is clearly being driven by stereotypes and assumption. Personally I think that these things are present in everyone, some are just more extreme than others.

Some of those stereotypes and assumptions seem innocent and don't appear to cause any harm, like the kids I see at the mall or when I am on the college campus. I often fore go the typical business attire for a pair of loose fitting jeans and a pair of ice white K-Swiss sneakers, so naturally when these kids see me they assume that I am one of those cool brothers, and it is not uncommon for these kids to greet me with head nods and "Whazz Up!" I love shaking them up by responding to them in my most nerdiest voice, "Greetings, a lovely day we are having today, I am finding it to be most fortuitous how about you sir?" Most of the time they are still standing there trying to figure out what just happened as I walk away and go on about my business.

Sometimes those stereotypes and assumptions are hurtful and offensive and in my opinion they limit people from experiencing some of the best the world has to offer because they have all kinds of crazy notions about other people and other cultures, that cause them recoil in fear when they come in contact with someone who doesn't look like them. Unfortunately people in this category usually don't realize how offensive their behavior is until they themselves receive the same kind of treatment. Being the teacher at heart that I am, I take full advantage of any opportunity to turn the tables. Like the other day when I was sitting in my truck in the parking lot of a shopping center in a well to do area. I was minding my own business at first, when I noticed several times, some snobby people walked by and once they saw me they began clutching their purses and doing a cleavage check...as if the scary black man was going to come after them. Instead of getting mad, I decided to play along. I waited for them to come back out of the store and when they were walking toward their car, which was parked near me. Once they were near enough I waited for them to look in my direction, but this time before they could react, I reacted first. I acted like I was extremely afraid, and then I hit the power locks making sure that the person could hear me locking my doors as if I needed to protect myself from them, and for the grand finale I grabbed my jacket and pulled it closed around me as if to block them from taking in all of my sexy blackness. Without fail each one of them looked back at me as if I had just insulted or offended them...and I was glad to see that my point had gotten across.

Being the clown that I am, I always try to find a funny or humorous way to deal with those moments when a person's stereotypes and assumptions begin to invade and encroach upon my happiness. As good as I am at turning things into something I can laugh about, there are sometimes when even my patience is challenged and laughing is the last thing I feel like doing, like when the following incident happened:

I was driving along minding my own business. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, my favorite CD was bangin (playing loudly), and the bass from the sub-woofers was kicking me in the back, just the way I like it. It was beautiful. I had no pressing matters, and my schedule was pretty clear with the exception of getting my hair braided later on that day.

I kind of felt like Ice Cube did while he was driving through a crime free South Central, but before I could declare that it was a Good Day, I pulled up to a stop sign, came to a complete stop, looked to my right, all clear, looked to the left and that's when I saw him. He was sitting there with that look, like a hunter who had just spotted a Ten Point Buck. I wasn't quite ready to give up on the notion that it was going to be a good day, but I had seen that look more than enough times to know that there was about to be trouble.

I turned and looked forward and proceeded along my way. I reached over and grabbed the remote so I could turn the music down, and as soon as I did I heard the sirens and looked up to see my buddy from the intersection come fishtailing from around the corner and pull up behind me. Having done this countless times I reached into my wallet to get my license. I then opened the glove compartment to get my registration and my current insurance card.

License check, registrations check, insurance card...insurance card...nope no insurance card. Unfortunately I forgot to put the new insurance card in the truck when my wife told me to the day before. Of all days to not have that card, I thought for a moment that maybe I would be able to reason with my overly zealous friend, but the look he had in his eyes, and the way he came speeding after me, quickly killed that notion.

I sat there looking forward, patiently waiting for him to approach and ask for my License and registration. I thought it was kind of odd that a few minutes had passed and the officer had not yet made his way to me yet. I thought maybe he was still in his car running my license plate number, in the hopes of finding something, but I could have saved him the time and told him he wouldn't find anything, because MMOG37 doesn't ride dirty.

I sat there for a few moments more before I began to get a little agitated and frustrated. I just wanted to get this over with. Agitation and frustration quickly escalated to full blown ticked off, when I happened to look in my driver's side mirror and observed this happy go lucky police officer approaching the back of my car like he was in an episode of Law & Order.

By the time he actually made it to my door, I no longer felt like co-operating with him, but I realized that unless I did I would have to spend even more time with this guy. I gave him my license and registration immediately, and told him that I didn't have my current insurance card, I had one but the expiration date had just passed, the new card was at home where I left it.

The officer took them from me, but he seemed more interested in asking me a hundred questions about where I was coming from and where I was going and what was I doing in this neighborhood. "I was coming from the store, I was going home and I was here because this is my neighborhood" I replied using my most proper and facetious voice. Oh, so you live over here? Yes Sir, that is correct. Where at? I gave him my address. I could tell by his expression that he thought that he had caught me in a lie, because the address I gave him belongs to the biggest house in the subdivision. And just how long have you lived at this address, sir? Now it was his turn to be facetious. I have lived there since I purchased the place two years ago, I replied in my usual smart aleck tone.

Oh you purchased that house, where do you work sir? I work at home...sir. I replied in a manner to suggest that none of this had anything to do with him pulling me over. I guessed he picked up on it because he quickly changed the subject and returned back to the matter at hand, him pulling me over for a DWB violation.

Do you know why I pulled you over sir? He had absolutely no idea how loaded that question was, and I had twenty different responses on the tip of my tongue, but I choked them down and softly replied, I don't know why you did it, but I knew you were going to do it. He acted as if he didn't hear me and went on to say that he pulled me over because I ran the stop sign. I wanted to look him dead in his eyes before I responded, i couldn't see them because of his dark glasses, so I estimated where I thought they would be and said to him, "You and I both know that I stopped at that stop sign, and in fact I made eye contact with you while I was sitting there at the stop sign. I knew by the look in your eye you thought you had a live one, but don't let my long hair and youthful appearance fool you, take a look at my license and you will see my age, and we both know that when you ran my plates they came back clean, so if you want to insist on giving me a ticket, that's fine, just be aware that I will show up to contest it, and I am going to repeat exactly what I am saying to you now."

He paused for a moment, then handed me back my license and registration. "I'm going to let you go with a warning sir, be sure you stop at all stop signs in the future." I looked at him a smiled and said 'you have a nice day too."

I wish I could say that was the only time that something like that has happened to me, but the sad truth is that it happens a lot, the funny thing is that the officer in this case was not white, and if you were picturing a redneck cop while you where reading this, then you are helping prove my point that most of us are driven by stereotypes and assumptions.

I know that most people are aware that it is wrong, but most people are less aware that these stereotypes and assumptions play a big part of what they do. Instead of denying it people should just realize that it is there and then make a conscious effort to pay attention to the things they say and do to make sure that they aren't allowing those stereotypes to hide behind a mask called preference.

So what about you...are your actions and interactions with others free from being manipulated by your own stereotypes and assumptions?