I Always Thought "Inappropriate Relationship" Too Lengthy an Expression for My Short Flings

Dr. Samuel Johnson and Noah Webster, please take a furlough from heaven to learn the new English.

"Inappropriate relationship" is too unwieldy a term. I always felt. Also, it has a liberal twang to it.

I needed something more user-friendly, say, something truly conservative. My search was futile, until today.

But today, I got it. And that word doesn't need a thousand lies to cover it up. Just boldly say it to everybody, even from the rooftop, how deep be your sin.

And that word is

D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N.

Yes, men can have "distractions" with women, hereafter.

Pretty simple and decent, isn't? Any way you do it, it is not as ominous as "inappropriate relationship", betcha.

You say, under oath, to your wife "In the name of the Lord our God, I swear, darling, I had a 'distraction' today".

And she will plant a kiss on you and croon, "Honey, you are so sweet to do that."

(I needn't tell you what response I got from her.)

I wonder how that simple, innocuous word never occurred to my dumb head until today while it was there all along sitting there waiting to enlighten me inside the dictionary at arm's length.

Yes, truth must come out.

But it should not be coming out in foolish-sounding, long-winded, liberal compound words like "inappropriate relationship."

It should be coming out in smart, decent, simple, conservative words like "distraction."

Gotcha.

Let me memorize it, now itself, lest I forget.

distraction = inappropriate relation, distraction = inappropriate relationship, distraction = inapp....