I Am the Anti-Bride: Words from a Newly Engaged Girl Who Never Dreamed of Getting Married

But, is it wrong that I am not totally excited about planning a wedding? I've never been one of 'those' girls. You know, the ones that sweetly chime, "I dreamed of the perfect wedding day since I was a little girl."

My childhood hopes and dreams did not revolve around being a beautiful bride; instead, I imagined myself being a famous author, screenwriter, radio star, detective or a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist.

I enjoyed fairy tales as literary pieces, but I did not secretly yearn for Prince Charming or a Cinderella ball gown. Most people don't live that happily-ever-after anyway.

My anti-wedding feelings were solidified around 2003, when two coworkers of mine were simultaneously planning dream weddings.

"Do we work at a school, or do we work for Weddings-R-Us?!" I asked my boss after overhearing constant calls to florists, caterers and photographers.

From that time forward I swore I'd never let wedding planning rule my life.

But, oops, I fell in love.
Dave is perfectly silly, like me. I actually wanted to settle down. I actually envisioned children. Guess he did too. During the Valentine's Day Blizzard I exclaimed, "Yes!" during a traditional down-on-one-knee proposal.

Now what? 'Anti-wedding' and 'engaged' is not an easy combination. I want to elope; my future groom wants a wedding. Thus, the planning begins. Well, sort of. We have a date set.

Now I know why it's called "The Knot"...
... because I have a tangle of knots in my stomach knowing how much planning (and money) is ahead!

Most girls are into weddings. Since I have a ring on my finger, I am often asked by giddy gals, "Sooooo, how is the wedding planning coming along?" I think to myself, "What do they mean? We're not even getting married until '08!"

The harsh reality set in that my spontaneous ways do not fit in with wedding planning. I have to reserve services, pay deposits and order things, like pronto.

We'd rather build onto our home than to our debt!
We decided that what is important about our wedding is not my dress, not the flowers, not the surroundings, not the cake, but three things: booze, music and the people. We can save all that unnecessary money and put it toward our dream addition. That will last forever-an expensive wedding will last a few hours!

Since I love nature, we are now pretty much set with saying our vows at a Rickett's Glen State Park waterfall or somewhere else scenic and pretty, and then have a crazy backyard reception. As far as the little details go, well... gulp.

I have my worries:

Booze: Will we have enough?

Shoes: I heard they make wedding flip-flops. Thank goodness. I can barely walk in heels! This rings true for us since I will have to hike in my wedding dress.

The Dance: If you've seen me out, you know I lack rhythm. I'd like to remove the bridal dance from the itinerary, especially if we have a videographer.

The Dress: How am I gonna pee in a gown?

Which dad do I dance with: Don't ask. I collect them.

The bridal party: Can I have a male bridesmaid? I really want my one guy pal to be in the wedding.

The shower: I don't want a frilly shower. Are co-ed showers cool?

My Name: Is it wrong to keep my maiden name, or at least hyphenate?

Final Note

During my wedding planning, I found there to be very little local information, so rather than spend time planning my wedding, I started a local directory at GettingMarriedinNEPA.com to help others who are more into planning than I!

This article originally appeared in the Words column in The Weekender, based in Wilkes-Barre, Pa.