I Am a Housewife

Women used to be proud of the title, but many women apologize for it now, or feel guilty for being one.

In several other countries, being a housewife is considered an honor, but here in America, it's not. Why?

Is it because technological advances have made the work of housewives quicker and easier, leaving some of us with more time to relax? Or has the financial demands of our society outstripped the need for a homemaker?

And if we do have time to unwind, should we feel in the wrong for it?

I've been a housewife since I gave birth at the age of 20 and while I've taken on odd jobs throughout the years, I've relied on my husband as the sole provider. When times have been lean I've felt incredibly guilty for staying home with my young children, leaving the financial burden on my husband's shoulders. But why should I have felt guilty? Was I upholding my end in our partnership? Who or what was making me feel so self-conscious by staying home to care for my family?

Moreover, as my children grow older and don't need me as much, the guilt increases and was never more acute than when a friend - who had long been an outspoken champion of housewives - admitted that she felt she needed to do more. If even she, the remarkable epitome of the modern day housewife, now needed to "help out" instead of feeling like "dead weight" then what about housewives like me? Were all her past speeches of the importance of housewives rendered meaningless?

Or perhaps I was once again taking the housewife debate personal - feeling self-centered and lazy for letting my husband support the family even though my three children are now in school, leaving me with ample free time - time I cherish and am thankful to have. Perhaps I should put the time to better use i.e.: earning money.

Is that earned money more important than the stabilities provided by a homemaker?

While I do have most of my chores done by noon, I keep an impeccable home, cooking our meals from scratch and am home when the children get out of school, ensuring homework is done and that they stay out of trouble. I only ask that my husband do the occasional odd job around the home. I have time to work outside the home, but have chosen not to, choosing instead to provide the security for our children and comfort for my husband.

I love my freedom and am happiest when I have time to take care of my home without feeling rushed. I also like having time for long walks, reading, writing, and other activities.

If I was to work full-time, and take care of my responsibilities in the home, I'd probably end up as uninterested in intimacy as many of my friends who don't even have time for friendships, let alone play time with their husbands.

My husband says he loves coming home to me, our clean home, freshly laundered clothes, a warm meal and extracurricular activities. He doesn't pressure me to work outside the home but even with his encouraging words I feel I should do more.

My grandmothers never thought like this and happily lived their lives while supporting their husbands as their husbands supported them financially. Back then my grandmother's had abundant time for family and friends, never feeling as frenzied as women do today.

Personally, I wish I had been privy to that time in life (1940's) and I'm tired of feeling selfish for doing what so many women have done before me.

I am a simple woman with a simple life which suits me just fine. Yet, the gnawing pressure is always there and I have to wonder if it's self-made or driven by pressures from modern society.