I AM PROUD of MY RELIGION!

You Too Can Become a Convert!

Chris Berry
Chris Berry, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Nov 22, 2006 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."
You probably don't know this about me but the true fact is I am a deeply religious ordained minister. I was afraid to "come out" for fear that someone would take offense in some way at my spirituality and ostracize me or even worse mount a Jihad against me. I have been so worried about this that up until now this has been my deep dark secret.

Well No More! Today I am announcing to the world that I am secure in my faith. I stand tall and proud of my beliefs. Nothing can hurt me and I defy anyone who would try to persecute me for who I am. No one will be more pious and proud of it than me.

Yes I am indeed born again. I am ready to shout from the mountain tops that there is nothing or no one that can keep me from my religion. There is nothing or no one who can keep me from worshiping as I see fit. I am no longer concerned about being "politically correct" or worrying whether my religion is the one and only true way.

I am convinced that my religion is the correct one. I don't need a Koran, a Bible, a Kabala, or any other piece of paper to convince me. That's what makes me a true believer and separates me from everyone else.

You can keep your false religions and doctrines. I don't need them. You can have your sacred rites and rituals. I don't need them either. All I need is what I already have. I have the knowledge that I have finally found the one and only true way.

I am so proud of myself that I have finally taken these steps irregardless of who I might offend. I don't worry about it anymore because I am now and will forever be a true follower. I am extremely proud to say that I am a devoted practitioner of my faith.

You too can have what I have. You too can forget about whether or not your religion is politically correct. You can forget about whether your beliefs offend others. You too can be secure in the knowledge that you are doing the right thing.

That's what being a BEMUSLABAPTILISH HINTECOSTILICFARI is all about. I urge you all to join me. Finally we will all be able to breathe a collective sigh of relief and get back to the really important issues of life.

Published by Chris Berry

Chris is a writer, songwriter, and recording artist with Retrofit Records who lives in N/W Arizona with his wife, step son, grandson, 2 cats, 2 dogs, a horse, some chickens and one bad ass rooster. He writes...  View profile

  • No more need to hide your beliefs!
  • No more need to worry about being politically correct!
  • No more tithing, or passing the collection plate!
Almost all of the world's religions claim to be the one and only true way. I have found the "Mother" of all religions, the actual one and only true way!

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  • Cynthia Martin9/4/2008

    Well, this is interesting. So many people argue over which belief is correct and whom is right or wrong. I think it is time for the barriers to come down and for us to all come together in the truth. However, everyone comes with their own agenda or eyesight that often blurs what the truth may be! Good thought provoking article here. Thanks, Cyn

  • theBarefoot11/23/2006

    Speaking as an Episcomethacathopaliandist, I urge you to return to the closet before Jihad begins.

  • Chris Berry11/22/2006

    Lori, don't get me started on Rosey and Kelly. You should have read the rant I posted on MSNBC about that. If we're quiet and just watch from afar maybe we'll get lucky and both of those women will do away with each other.

  • Lori Borys11/22/2006

    I know it's hot in AZ...how close are you to a mine? maybe it's fumes.

    As usual another interesting and pleasantly provacative read. Any thoughts on Rosie ripping Kelly? (a little pun there hahaha I kill me.)

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