I Can't Sleep at Night & It's Not 'Cause I'm Lazy!

Just because it is night time, why does that mean that I have to sleep?

Obviously most people do sleep during the night. They even sleep through the night and wake up well rested and ready to go.

I've tried time and time again. I've rearranged my schedule, went an entire day and night and even the next day, just to go to bed at night, like everyone else.

It works, but it doesn't last. I always end up reverting and have no clue why.

I've done sleep studies-but the thing is here-you have to be able to sleep at night!

Now mind you, yes, I have had my share of third shift jobs. The pay is usually better, and sometimes even offers shift differential. And yes, I liked it and had no problems doing these jobs!

However, did you know that people automatically assume that if you're still in bed at noon that you're lazy? It couldn't possibly be that you were up all night with a sick kid, or that you work third shift, your point blank just lazy!

"What are you still doing in bed, its 12:15pm already? Get up!"

I haven't worked in a few years due to unforeseen circumstances. While on this, um-"sabbatical" if you will, I had my Doctor write me a prescription for something that would help me sleep. Now mind you, he didn't choose sleeping pills because they are dangerous and addictive. Instead, he put me on an antidepressant known as Trazadone to help me fall asleep.

He started me on the low dose, and it worked for a while at first, then he increased it, and it worked again. We kept going up, until we can't go up anymore. Now it no longer knocks me out, and I am on the maximum dose.

You see, when I lay down, I think, and I pray. Then I get agitated because I'm laying here in bed wasting time, when I could be doing something much more productive!

I don't fall asleep until after my Husband leaves for work, which is generally around 5:00am. I usually doze about an hour after he leaves, give or take.

Everywhere I've lived; it is usually quieter in the day time too! No husband snoring and kicking because of Restless Leg Syndrome. Just me and my doggies.

And I feel like such a screw up! I want to be normal, (whatever that is!) And trust me when I say I've tried tons of things!

A hot relaxing bath and some valerian root. (A natural herb.)

Hot tea and soft relaxing music. The tea makes me have to use the restroom all might too! How does that help?

That's the other issue, which is part of my problem. I'm up and I'm down all night using the restroom. Yeah, sometimes it's for a few drops, and sometimes it's more.

I've told my Primary Care Physician and my OB GYN. My OB says I have too many risks being put on the urination frequency pills. My PCP says its excess water and it needs to escape some how and that he doesn't want to put me on something that I don't need.

So this is obviously an endless battle that I am not going to win. Maybe I should move to another continent that has daytime while were having nighttime! LOL

Seriously though, I even get bursts of energy all through the night. So I go and throw a load of laundry in, and do some dishes, write in my journal, read emails, and do things on the computer, read a book, and/or watch TV until I get tired.

What sucks even worse, is if I actually fall asleep before my Husband wakes up, I have to wake him when his alarm goes off, because allegedly he doesn't hear it, and he cannot wake on his own. He'll just lay there and ignore it. And yes, I am to blame for it not blaring, because when the alarm blares, it scares the crap outta me! He'll turn off the alarm, and lay back down for 15-20 minutes. I have to literally beg him to get up and go. So even if I was asleep, I'm not now!

And yes, I went to him with this issue, and he apologizes, but doesn't change. I might get 2 days out of him in a Month, where he'll actually get up and go quietly. And yes, I treasure those days! LOL

So all in all, I am just wondering how messed up I am! I can't be the only person with sleep issues!

But clearly, why must the normal people who sleep comfortably at night, all through the night always assume that those of us, who are sleeping in, are just lazy? I mean seriously people, think before you speak!