I Could Not Stop Myself from Reading the Top Chef Spoiler

So, my surfing lead me to discover who won Top Chef, a full day before the Second Season Finale. By the time this published, everyone will know that Ilan Hall won Top Chef. How anti-climatic can a reality TV show get? The real drama was last week, when the judges whittled the contestants from four to two. A frontrunner and fan favorite was let go, as well as the last female in the Top Chef Kenmore kitchen. Left to duke it out were the oh-so-annoying Marcel and the smug kid that always uses saffron, Ilan, our...sigh...Top Chef.

The season pretty much went accordingly to plan, though as I sit here and try to remember some of the early-cut Chefs, I can remember the group from last season better than those from this season. That woman cut in the first episode with an accent, then Otto because he stole lychees, and then yeah, kind of fuzzy. And it really shouldn't be fuzzy. I can recall a witty line from Emily ("four teeth and fat ass"), the constant Betty and Marcel war, the tendency to use the phrase, "throw under the bus". I do recollect with fondness the very idea that a line cook like Michael would have lasted until the final six. But as I mentioned, you always knew who was going to be back next week. Ilan, Sam and Cliff, and to a slightly lesser extent, Elia, only because of her inclination toward chocolate-induced psychotic episodes.

Now, it was a bit difficult to see Cliff be asked to leave, but his company started to smell like four day old fish. His last meal was uninspired, to be kind, but really no less inspired than Marcel's salmon. However, Cliff made us all sit through that awkward segment in which he held Marcel down on the floor in some wrestling move, which would make me feel uncomfortable enough in a sports arena, much less on a cooking show. I was happy to see Cliff go, as he came across as a bossy know-it-all...but then, that phrase could be applied to the other chefs as well.

So, then we reach the final four. Elia, Sam, Ilan and Marcel. I thought it was a foregone conclusion that Sam and Ilan would be the last two chefs standing. But then, Sam was asked to pack his knives and go, while Marcel stood proud dusted in his xantham gum. Granted, Marcel has improved quite a bit during the course of the show; yes, he has stepped up his game. But another foam around an hors d'oeuvre, and some dots of sauce artfully played across the white plate, yawn. Yet, Marcel came out as the first winner in the final four. The judges dutifully gave him pass to the next round, against da-da-don, Ilan, his arch nemesis (well, since Betty left).

It was at that moment that I gave up on Top Chef. Not that I won't watch the finale, but I won't like it when I do. It's not that I don't think that Ilan should be the winner, but you know that Marcel won't win. At least keep me guessing to the end, Bravo. No one wants to see the jerk win. That's like the number one rule in reality TV.

However, there is a deeper level to my frustration with the way Top Chef has turned out. Top Chef exhibited just how transparent it really is. Last year taught the producers a lesson, and that is keep your "enemies" together until the end. Last Season Tiffany stayed while Dave left. Disaster, and that's why they had to have that stupid reunion, which seems to have been scratched for this season. And better than boring, boring Harold getting along alright with Tiffany in the final, it will hopefully be all-out war between the two finalists, Marcel and Ilan . I know that is what was going through the producers' little brains when faced with the prospect of having Sam in the final with Ilan.

There is the "fine print" per se in the closing credits in which it clearly states that producers influence the elimination decisions. Well, in the case of putting Ilan and Marcel in the finale, the Top Chef producers have tried to insure some drama in the final episode. That is good, in theory, as it is conflict that forms the basis of all good stories. However, when the drama is so predictable, it can instead detract from sense of surprise that only reality tv can really supply...and yeah, that is sarcasm.

I will miss the idea that Top Chef couldn't have jumped out of the reality tv standards and norms that all shows must follow, and that is pitting rivals against each other until the end. It might have been nice to simply see the best two chefs make it to the final, but instead "it is what it is." Congratulations, Ilan, even if the real winner is Sam, who showed more diversity and well-rounded talent throughout the show. I am just happy but not at all surprised that Marcel