I Cram to Understand!

O.K.! This is getting ridiculously frustrating! Why is it so hard to meet a quality woman to date? I'm a 36 year old bro. thats not bad to look at, I have strong morals and values, good sense of humor, I work, have high aspirations and know how to treat a lady. Well at least I thought I did!!

It's been three years since my last serious relationship. And in that time I have dated five women. None to the point of intimacy. Don't get me wrong. A brother has needs. Oh a brother definitely has needs!!! As much as I welcome the occasional erotic dream! There is no substitute for the companionship or erotic intimacy you share with someone who cares for you and you them. But it takes a little bit more for me just hop in the sack with any old Jane, Kelly or Anne. I mean I would prefer to have a connection with a woman on many levels. Hey! I'm peculiar in that way. Besides there are to many diseases and crazy ex's out there.

But to get to the heart of my vexed emotional state! I listen to woman say all the time. "I don't want any drama"! But I have often asked the question of many woman. "Why do some women stay with men who obviously brings them a lot of grief and blatantly express that they do not have your best interest at hand"?
And you may not believe this. But every woman gave me the same answer. "We are just hoping things may change". You are dealing with a man who lies to you, disrespects you, who puts everything in the world before you, who cheats on you, manipulates you, who does not care about what you go through, who is not interested in making you smile, who really just does not give a damn about you or what you do. But it is a fact that these are the type of men that a lot of women, good women are drawn to. Don't get me wrong. In every relationship there must be compromises and sacrifices. And everyone can change, but the person must be willing to and a lot of people just aren't.

Here I am. A good brother, or so I thought!! But it seems to me that I am being shunned for being the exact opposite. With me this is the order of things in a committed relationship. God first and foremost and then my lady. Everything else is secondary. Not to say that I will put off things like family and friends and work. Those things are automatic. But when trying to build a lasting meaningful relationship with someone they must be secure in where they fit in, and I have no problem with letting anyone know that I must consider what me and my lady have going on before anything else. Granted that I'm not perfect. But who is? The thing is to find someone who's craziness you can deal with and they yours. While at the same time have some compatibilities and similar morals and values.

I recently met a beautiful woman who when I saw her she stirred my being. I mean touched me. I'm not really the flirtatious type but I had to at least know her name. so I approached her, introduced myself and a long story short we exchanged numbers.
Now here's a quick summary of how things have been since. Let me know if I am crazy or did this have the potential for something great? seriously I really need some comments on this.

When I approached her when we met I was a vendor at the Kwanzaa Fest. She was eating and I needed a way in so I took over one of our peach cobblers. Introduced myself and during our convo. she said that she was just about to come over and get some cobbler. Good omen No.1

first date we talk and casually let each other know that we are not seeing any one at the time. Good omen No.2

As we continue to get to know each other turns out I'm an aspiring writer and she is a professional journalist. Good omen no. 3

She hates the fact that most men are involved and want someone to be a piece of ass on the side. i hate that the women I have been meeting lately are very deceptive. She says that she has the tendency to be smothering in a relationship and a lot of men don't like that. I have expressed and demonstrated that I 'm always available for her day or night. She has a unpredictable schedule mine is open so we can work around it! She says that if two people really want to be together the will find time and a way. We have been squeezing time in where we could even to the point of when she gets out of the office at 3am and I still let her know that I ready and willing. Omens 3,4,5,6 etc! Not to mention we are apologetic respectful and considerate of each other and communicate very well. We can talk about anything from comic books to current events, share similar morals and values, interests, sense of humor. I mean all of the things that would make for a good long lasting meaningful relationship!! She has even dubbed me. "A perfect gentleman" and "A dream suitor"!! Well! Wake Up woman I'm right here!
Well I guess "She's Just Not That Into Me"! And as of late we don't communicate like used to. And she hit me with the high-low combo. We can be friends!

Well in conclusion. I guess??? If someone wants out of your life let them go. Avoid embarrassment and blows to your ego. And. "It's not who you love, but who loves you"!!!!!