I Discriminate Against Southerners!

Ok, although I have been in denial for some time...I have to say it...

I Am Southern.

Man, just looking at the words as I type them makes me cringe...makes me vomit a little in my mouth.

I do not know why being southern bothers me. Southerners are known for being sweet, considerate humans who would give you the shirt off of their back...however, they also have the reputation of being stupid.

When you watch movies you see southerners with this extreme drawl that makes you wonder what kind if drugs they are on. I think the weed must have been good because they talk S o S l o w and they make every word last a good minute or so.It is annoying, irritating and makes me wants to rip out their vocal cords and shove them up their...well, I think you get the picture.

Then there are celebrities like Britney Spears that would be considered redneck whitetrash if they weren't famous.

I have had friends from up north that comment that they would feel bad for people raised in the south...but they are too stupid to understand that we feel pitiful for them.

I feel pitiful for the stupidity and I am one of them.

Let me clarify. I was born and raised in North Carolina and I am still currently in this place, however, I am far from what I would consider southern.

I do not dig grits, fried chicken, muddin', cowboy hats or boots. I do not worship the Charlie Daniels Band or Willie Nelson. I do not wave the Confederate Flag around. It is not a sticker on my car, there is not a flag flyin' high above my house. I have had livermush once in my life and it is something that I will never ingest again.I do not use the word ain't and I don't call people "baby", "sugar", "honey" or "darlin." I am not a fan of Nascar and I do not put my life on hold when the race is in town. Oh, and I pronounce my words and I can actually read more then three words at a time. I love Dr. Suess but Green Eggs and Ham is not my idea of literature. I have actually read War and Peace, Crime and Punishment and other high profile pieces of literature.

Now please, do not get me wrong, I have nothing against those from the South. Many of my best and closest friends are southern raised and there is nothing that is ever going to change who they are, how they act or how they speak. I only hate the fact that I am southern and that there are those of you out there that think that this constitutes a weakness. There is nothing more degrading then talking to someone for the first time and hearing "Oh, you are from the south. Well, bless your heart." Bless my heart? What, because I am from the south all of a sudden I am below your level of intelligence and therefore you feel sorry for me. Give me a break, I can give your Yankee butt a run for its money. I can gaurantee that I can talk to you about any topic of your choosing and still come off smarter than you on a good day ( this only applies if I am not talking to a doctor, lawyer or architect, lol...I have not gotten that far in my educational studies. You win in all of those cases. I bow down to the intellectuals.)

I guess I have been very lucky in the fact that my parents raised me to rise above all else and prove to the world who I am. Yes, I was born Southern but I am also a well educated, well rounded person who is constantly striving for better things. There are times when a "ya'll" will slip out of my mouth, but I try to make sure those are few and far between.

I think that it is sad that Southerners have gained such a reputation that I feel as though because of my locale, I am ashamed of where I come from. I can only relate it to those persons who are criticized because of their race or sexual orientation. When you hear something is bad long enough, you begin to believe it and eventually you begin to let it effect how you feel about who you are.

I am not sure that I will ever embrace the fact that I am Southern. I am not sure that I will ever accept it, I am not sure that I want to. I have become such a pro at denying who I am that it is like second nature. There are few that I speak with that know right off that I am from the South. Many think I am a yankee and many times I do not correct them. Will it ever change? Who knows.

Till I know for sure...

Ya'll Come Back Now, Ya Hear?